I have absolutely nothing to say today. My life is boring, my kids have been boring, the dogs gas is still horrible, I still work too much. So, because I feel totally boring today, I will give you only pictures so as not to bore you with the other dribble I may produce. So, here you go, the kids being the kids. By the way, I had to bribe them with candy to get the last 5. It was the only way I could get them to smile.


Have I mentioned I totally kick ass!!!

We had our annual kick off yesterday. Everyone gets together and spends 8 hours listening to boring speeches and drinking bad coffee then we get rewarded with 3 hours of open bar in the evening! Yay open bar!!!! Yay Malibu and pineapple! Yay shiraz! Yeah FREE!!!! Anyway, half way through the meeting we had an awards/recognitions session. To my surprise, the project I worked on in August won project of the year! Yeah me! So, the weeks of working 7 days a week, into the wee hours of the morning, ignoring my kids, and slacking on my housework was worth it. I felt hyped up when I got home. Plus, my division (managed market services) got division of the year! We are rockin' and I felt completely secure when I left the meeting yesterday. We are hiring and buying up smaller companies (but we never ever get rid of the employees of the companies we buy). So, yeah, total job security which is nice to hear in this really tough time.

On a side note, I am totally head over heels in love with my OB/Gyn. He is awesome. As he was leaving the office to allow me to dress myself he said "Come see me again when your pregnant!" I have been seeing him for 8 years and will gladly pay out of pocket if he ever goes out of network. He is that wonderful. The scale at his office, on the other hand, sucks ass. Like sucks big dumb donkey dick and I want to throw it out the window but it is a giant scale for really large ladies and I don't think I could pick it up. And the nurse! Oh that bitch of a nurse! When she was weighing me she said "Wow, you don't like you weigh that much." What! How am I supposed to take that? I am just not sure. You don't look like you weigh that much. What is that much? It's not like the scale was tipping towards 250 or anything. My goodness, take a girl all the way down will ya. So yeah, love my OB (he looks like Anthony Edwards), hate his nurse.

And finally, Phantom (aka Chicken Shit) is sick. I am not sure what is wrong with him but the noxious odor permeating from his butt is enough to suck to oxygen out of a very large room. His stomach was being all funny and gurgly last night at around 10. Then he didn't really want a walk this morning and didn't eat his breakfast. He just laid in the living room all day with big sad eyes. And, of course, killing every living organism in the house with his rank arse. I fed him some ground beef and rice for dinner so I am hoping that helps settle what ever is going on in there because he sleeps in my room and, well, that is just gross.


Just a planner

As I announced yesterday, my good friend Jen is pregers! Yeah Jen! Now, I am a planner. When I was in college, I walked into my adviser's office with the next two years completely mapped out and he laughed at me. He said if every student was like me he would be out of the job. But, I went into his office with only 42 credits under my belt and finished just two short years later with a double major, a minor while raising two kids and working a full time job. So planning paid off.

When I go into the real world I realized there was less I could plan. I could not control when my employer gave me a raise or a much wanted promotion and it was stressful. I had a hard time just letting it ride, hoping my employer would recognize my devotion and, of course, my brilliance. I am getting better at it. We get raises in April and, if it is enough, I would like to quit my job at the pharmacy. Usually I would checking our budget, crunching numbers, and putting together dozens of if-then scenarios. I have not done that. I am waiting until April! To see what my raise is! Then I will decide what to do! It was hard at first but I have found my life is much easier without that crap on my mind all the time. I like to think I am channeling my inner guy.

But I digress...where was I? Oh yes, Jen is knocked up, has a bun in the over, is with child, is nursing a parasite. And I want to make her something! She is a knitter. An amazing knitter. She can do things with two needles and a skane that I can't even wrap my head around. And I really want it to be something special because she is so amazing . Of course, I will wait until that magical time when she tells me if her little parasite is of the boy or girl variety. I am hoping girl because I really want to use pink and green because Oh My God! I love pink and green! Of course, if it is a boy I will make do. I can't start making it now but I can certainly pick my pattern now! Here is where I ask for help. What should I make. I am debating between a couple of different things:

I really love the turtle buddy and it wouldn't be very hard. I don't even need to make it a turtle. I have a dog pattern, a bear, and a pig. The blanket is easy enough and just gets sewn onto the bottom of the stuffed toy. And, seriously, how cute would a pink pig with a green blanket be! Of course, the stroller blanket is nice too and, again, pretty easy to do. But, she is due in October so a hooded blanket will be great for those sub zero winter nights. I just can't decide! Help me Internets, please.


It's a BABY!

Nope, not mine. My very dear friend Jen told me today she is pregnant. So, a huge congrats to Brad and Jen! May the crippling dizziness and nausea subside, and may the next 34 weeks be filled with joy and amazement. And, if you quit the pharmacy before the baby is born, I will kick your ass.

Congrats Brad and Jen!


A new me - Week 4

This week was much better! I found time to workout and feel great about it. Work has slowed down significantly and I was actually able to cook dinner, clean up, workout, and not sign back on to the computer! I don't remember the last time I could say I didn't work at night at all the entire week. I feel rested and have definitely noticed a difference in everyday life.

I ate much better last week as well. I ate a lot of spinach, low fat yogurt, cottage cheese, almonds, chicken, and fresh fruit and veggies. Of course, I ate like crap in Wisconsin Dells this past weekend but I had decided at the beginning of this I would cheat on weekends. It helps keep me on track during the week and it helps keep my metabolism high.

Onto the measurements!

Boobs: 34" (down 1")
Waist: 29" (no change)
Hips: 36" (no change)
Buns: 40" (down 1")
Thigh: 24" (no change)

So, not bad considering the two weeks prior I ate like crap and didn't really workout. I'm glad to see the small changes that are there. I have an appointment with the lady doctor on Friday so I actually have to step on a scale. That is kind of scary for me. The last two times I was there I was not happy with I saw on the scale. I hoping that won't be the case this time.


We're still alive

We made it to the waterpark and back and no one died! Payton got swallowed by a giant wave in the wave pool but I was there to pull her out. What was supposed to be a relaxing 2-day lunge by the pool turned into a stair hiking, tube carrying, plummeting down 5 story slides 2-day trip and it was so much fun! And, the constant stair hiking was good because I ate like crap: pizza, breakfast buffet, no lunch, Culvers. We are going back in April for 2 more days and this time we are bringing Joe. We will have a huge group in April with lots of kids so I imagine it will be much more fun! Since I really can't describe the kids excitement I will take the cheap way out and show it in pictures.

Payton in the car waiting while my aunt checked in.

Caden in the car while my aunt checked in, he slept the entire car ride so he is a bit tired here.

Payton after going down her first really big slide

Caden on the baby slide

Caden on a bigger slide

Payton coming down a three story high slide

Caden coming down a three story high slide

The big girls on the trip - Kendall and Becca

The top of the biggest slides the kids went on. They weren't tall enough to do the others.

Kendall and Caden - he was really tired. I think it was about 9 o'clock on Friday night.

In the hotel room, getting ready to swim again

Me and the kids on the last day

All four kids after making a trip through the candy shop, Caden is clutching his candy, Payton is just a freak

A shot of the water park just before we left to go to......

.....the totally kick-ass jungle gym!

It was so kick-ass I couldn't get Caden to stop for pictures. This was the best I could get

Payton was a bit more cooperative.

So that's it! We all had a great time and can't wait to go back in a few months.



It's a bright and sunny July day. The kids and I are at a pool party. Joe is at work. The sun is warm and relaxing. I can feel my skin warming in the sunlight. I raise my face to the sky and the warmth washes over me. I can smell the meat cooking on the grill. The kids are laughing. Payton is in the pool without floaties on. Where is Caden? By the grill with guys, he still has foaties on, no problem. Pay attention to the girl, she is the pool without floaties. She is doing a good job. She is keeping a float on the noodle. Where is Caden? Still by the grill hanging out with the guys. Sill has his floaties on. Payton is off the noodle. Look at that, she can touch the bottom. She sure is getting big. I am so proud of her. Where is Caden? He's not by the grill anymore. Where is Caden? He's not with the girls on the lawn chairs. Where is Caden! Caden! Has anyone seen Caden! Caden! Oh my god he fell in the pool. He's not wearing his floaties! Get him! Swim, swim, faster, he's slipping under. Caden, kick baby kick, mommy is coming! Swim, swim, grab him. I've got you. Come here baby. Mommy has you. Come on, lets get out and sit down. It's okay baby, mommy has you. Don't cry baby mommy is here. Mommy got you. Mommy has you, don't cry. It's okay, mommy won't let you go. I'm sorry mommy, I just wanted to get that penny. I'm sorry mommy. I just wanted my penny back. It fell in the water, I was just reaching for it. I'm sorry mommy. Ssshhh, baby, mommy here.

Then I wake up, it's dark and cold. My face is wet with tears. Caden is safe in his bed. Joe is sound asleep next to me. Why did I just have that dream? That happened almost two years ago. Oh yeah, we're going to a water park today. Joe isn't coming, he has to work. Note to self: pack a life vest, never let him leave your sight, leave the pennies at home.

Whatta Man, Whatta Man....

Whatta mighty good man. Joe just told me he is going to volunteer in Payton's classroom. He is going to read to all the little first graders for their "book club" on Tuesdays. How sexy is that. It is so rare to see a dad so involved in their children's school. But I have a man who not only is able to be at school during the day but wants to be at school during the day. Top it off with being the troop dad for brownies and I have one kick ass husband who is one kick ass daddy. He is an awesome influence.

Me, not so much. I taught the boy to say "Hey butt head, try the pedal on the right. It makes your car move!" Then, as I was writing this, I asked if butt head is one word or two out loud to myself and now the kids are calling each other butt heads. They had to learn it some time, right?


Taxi cab confessions - Mommy style

Me: Hey guys look! That house is for sale. Maybe we will get new neighbors that have a 5 year old and a 7 year old.

Payton: Yeah, that would be cool. When are we going to move?

Me: Not for awhile, sweety.

Payton: Well, when we do move I want to buy the peach house by school.

Me: That house isn't for sale and it isn't really the type of house mommy and daddy want to buy next.

Payton: But I want to pick out the next house.

Me: No Bella, Mommy and Daddy are paying for the house so mommy and daddy get to pick the house.

Payton: Fine, I'll pay for the house.

Me: Do you know how much houses cost? That house you like will sell for around $300,000.

Payton: I have that much money.

Me: You do! Where?

Payton: In my piggy bank.

Me: Bella, your piggy bank isn't big enough to hold that much money. You have $30, not $300,000.

Payton: Fine, I will get a job to pay for it.

Me: A job! What kind of a job are you going to get?

Payton: Um....I'll get a job dancing. You know, I'll dance.

Me (thinking): oh dear god my little girl is going to be a stripper.

Me (speaking): Honey, mommy and daddy won't be ready to move for a few years so why don't you wait a little while before picking a career.

Payton: Okay mommy. Mommy, what is the speed limit?

Me: Why don't you look for a sign and tell me when you see one.

Payton: Okay....a few minutes later...Mommy. The sign says 45.

Me: Thanks.

Payton: Why are you going 60? You are supposed to be going 45. Your going to get a ticket. Do you want to get a ticket?

Me: Payton, no body likes a back seat driver. Look out the window.

Payton (in a sing songy voice): Trees, flees, string cheese, cheese string, G string. Mommy, is there such thing as a G string?

Me (thinking): Oh my god she is going to be a stripper!

Me (speaking): I don't know sweetie. Why don't you sing mommy a song.

Payton: Oh, I just burped. It tasted like broccoli. Funny because I haven't had broccoli today. Huh.

Poor Caden has been listening to this. He has a hard time getting a word in edgewise with her around. But, he took his chance and....

Caden: Lucy was at the Planetarium today.

Payton: Really, what was she wearing?

Caden: A pretty skirt with sparkles and pink shoes. She sat next to me.

Payton: Did you kisssss herrrrr?

Caden: Stop it! She is my favorite friend!

Payton: Yoooouuuu like herrrrr.

Caden: Stop it Payton! You smell. Stop talking!

Payton: Caden wants to kiss Lucy!

Me: Bella, stop it. He doesn't like that.

Payton: Hehe, I just farted.

Me: Everybody out, we're here.

All of this in just the short drive to ballet. Thankfully they were snacking on the way home and that kept their little mouths pretty busy.

I just tried on swimsuits....

....I'm never eating again.


Why I need to quit my job at the pharmacy

Patient #1: Hi!

Me: Hi, are you dropping off or picking up?

P1: Dropping off. Places rx on the counter and pushes it my way

Me: reaching for the rx.....

P1: Oh, you might not want to touch that I just threw up on it.

Me: Oh, we can have this ready in 20 minutes.


Patient #2: Hi, is there anything I can do for canker sores

Me: I'm sorry, in my experience most over the counter products are ineffective

P2: There isn't anything? (obviously annoyed and thinks I am lying)

Me: Well, you can try a numbing agent but that wears off rather quickly and you can only use 6 times a day.

P2: What about Peroxide (now she is getting really snotty)

Me: You can try it but it really doesn't do anything.

P2: So, your telling me there is nothing I can do? (Now she is down right bitchy)

Me: That is right, there is nothing you can do.

P2: I just don't think that is true. Walks away.

under my breath:
yeah, because my 12 years of medical experience and 20 years of dealing with cankers sores doesn't mean a damn thing

Patient #3: Excuse me, is my prescription ready?

Me: Let me check, what is your last name?

P3: gives last name

Me: Yes, looks like the copay is $15

P3: No, that can't be, that isn't right.

Me: I'm sorry sir, that is what the insurance company is telling us to charge you.

P3: NO! That isn't right! Can't you hear? I pay $2.

Me: Sir, if you have a problem with the copay you don't have to take the medication. You can call your insurance and try to work the issue out.

P3: It isn't my issue! It is yours. You need to learn to do job. How do I know you aren't trying to pocket my money? MY COPAY IS $2.

Me: Sir, your copay is $15. If you have a problem with that, please call your insurance.


Me: Your copay is $15. Do you want it or not?

P3: Walks away in a huff mumbling under his breath what an untrustworthy person I am.

15 minutes later.....

P3: Looks like my benefits changed. Did you say my copay was $15? Who should I make the check out to?

No apology, nothing.


Patient #4: Excuse me, I have a rash. What kind of salve can I use?

Me: Where is the rash?

P4: On my leg

Me: Can you pull your pant leg high enough to show it to me?

P4: No, but here. Drops pants, lifts panties, exposes butt cheek. Here it is, do you see that red splotchy area?

Me: Oh, uh, yeah. It looks like a fungus. Get some clotrimazole and use it twice a day.

P4: Thanks! pulls up pants and leaves.


A new me - week 3

Well, it has been another rough week. I had to admit to my boss that I had taken on too much work over the course of the last 6 months and I needed to give something up. My I can handle it attitude caught up with me in a one on one when I finally said please stop! Top it off with a pissed off client and a new hire who just isn't getting it and work was stressful.

Home was stressful. Payton had the flu, Joe and I got into a big argument, I thought I was pregnant. I was so busy at work the house wasn't getting picked up and messes stress me out. Home sucked this past week, work sucked too.

I am an emotional eater. Stress and bad feelings make me want to get out the ice cream and hot fudge. Sometimes, bad feelings make we want to get a spoon and hot fudge, screw the ice cream.

Of course, because I was so busy at night being super analyst/trainer/account manager I didn't have time to work out. I didn't even set foot into the weight room and the yoga ball started to collect dust. So what does all of this whining mean? It means I didn't loose a smidge of weight. Thankfully, I didn't gain a smidge of weight either.

It has become pretty obvious to me that I need to get my bed lovin' ass in the basement in the morning and get a run in before work. Here in lies the problem. I am not the get up and run 6 miles type. I am the hit snooze so many times I only have 20 minutes to get ready for work type. Lets review what my mornings currently look like:

Midnight - 1am: Crawl into bed after working since 8pm
5.45am: Mumble fuck is that mine as I search for the snooze button
5.55am: Mumble what the hell, is that mine again? snooze button
6.00: Joe bounds out of bed with the dog and goes for a walk
6.05: Lay in bed listening to the alarm go off, staring at the dark ceiling cursing the morning
6.10: Realize that I only have 20 more minutes until I have to leave for work
6.12: Try to find the motivation to crawl out of my flannel sheet, electric blanket set to 4, down comforter cacoon and into my 58 degree house.
6.13 - 6.25: Shower really fast, pull hair into pony tail, brush teeth. moisturize? nope, no time.
6.30: Throw lunch into bag and run out the door

You see, I would have to get up at 5.30 if I want to get in a morning workout and that means a measly 4 and a half hours of sleep. How the hell can I function on that? I can't. I just do not know what to do. But I need to figure it soon because I have to be a swim suit Friday and again during spring break. I know there isn't much I can do for this Friday but spring break is doable. I just need to figure out how.


A little less confused

If you are trying to get pregnant and having trouble or pursuing infertility treatments of any kind you may want to skip this post. Okay, you've been warned.

My little scare this past week has allowed me to reflect upon my feelings. Do I really want to get pregnant again? Why was I so upset to be pregnant and then even more upset when I wasn't? What could possibly be feeding these feelings? Here is what I came up with.

When I thought I was pregnant I was really nervous about having to tell Joe. He has been very clear that he does not want more children. He has his boy and his girl and is just months away from having every Tuesday to himself because both kids will be in school full time. He loves that the kids are getting to an independent age. He doesn't have to lug around a diaper bag every where he goes and can trust them to play on their own...most of the time. He has no desire to go back to the baby stage. I think part of the reason I was upset about being pregnant was because I know how he feels about another child.

It was pointed out to me that Joe would get used to the idea and love a child when it is born. I have no doubt in my mind that is a true statement. Joe will love any child we bring into the world as furiously as he loves the two we already have. I have no doubt in my mind he will be as wonderful a father to a third as he was to his first two. He will write that baby a book just like he did for the other two. He will sing that baby songs and play tea party when necessary. And, the first two were not planned by any stretch of the imagination.

And that brings me to another point. I think somewhere deep down, I want to plan a pregnancy. In case you are new to the blog and didn't read my introduction post I will give you a little background. Joe and I got married pretty young. We were just 20 when we took our vows. We decided we wanted to wait 7 years to get pregnant. That would give us time to be married, finish school, buy a house, save some money. But, 7 years turned into 7 months when we had too much tequila and had sex on a bar table; 40 weeks later we welcomed Payton into the world.

She wasn't planned but she was loved and well taken care of. We knew she would have a little brother or sister but not for at least 4 years. Well, 4 years turned into just 17 months and an oh shit when those two pink lines showed up. And, 39 weeks later, we welcomed Caden into the world. He too was loved and well cared for.

I think I want that elated feeling a positive pregnancy test brings so many women instead of the oh shit what the hell are we going to do feeling I had with both of my pregnancy tests. I want to feel the thrill of a life growing inside of me instead stressing about how we are going to pay for daycare and formula and diapers and still have enough money for rent and the car payment. Is that selfish? I don't know. And I don't know what to do with my new found knowledge. Joe still doesn't want another baby even if I decide I do. Although, it may not matter because when Joe reads my post from yesterday (which he will because he reads this regularly) I will never have sex again.


A bif of a scare

I thought I was pregnant. I didn't know how to feel about it. Ever since I had Caden I was convinced I wanted three children. Even now when both the kids are older I thought I wanted one more. I was convinced I wouldn't mind going back to diapers and car seats and paying for daycare and no sleep and being completely responsible for the life of one little human. I hint around at Joe all the time. I even convinced the kids they would love to have a baby brother or baby sister.

Then, on Wednesday, I was really tired. I fell asleep on a conference call. Thank goodness I was working from home and was only a silent listener. No one knew I was asleep. Then, when I hung up the phone, I went to sleep again for 2 hours. When I finally woke up I was sick to my stomach. It was 5 o'clock and that is when I got sick with both kids. I laid on the couch the rest of the night exhausted and nauseous. Payton had stayed home Tuesday and Wednesday because she had the flu so I figured I was getting the flu too.

Thursday was more of the same. Exhausted, sick, complete inability to concentrate. I needed to be at work because I had a really important meeting with clients at 4 so I toughed it out. I would get hungry and eat then I would get sick. Just like I did with both pregnancies. Then it happened, I needed mashed potatoes. I needed them so badly I went to the elevator and down 11 floor to the diner that sits on the first floor of my building. I ordered them and ate them like I hadn't eaten in weeks. Then I felt that I was going to throw up. That's when it hit me that I might be pregnant. All of the symptoms fit. I was excited for about 0.2 seconds. Because at 0.3 seconds I realized maybe I don't want a third child as bad as I thought I did. All that ran through my head was the diapers, the car seats, the cost! Everything I thought I was fine with. I stressed about it all day. I started trying to remember when my last period was. I knew it was sometime before Christmas but didn't know exactly when. The weekend before maybe? I also new we had a very good New Years after our guests left and the timing fit.

Friday really freaked me out. I got winded every time I walked up the stairs. You see, when I was pregnant with Caden, I got really winded walking up the hill at my aunt's house during a birthday party. I took a test immediately following the party and it was positive; Caden was on the way. I almost went to the store to buy a pregnancy test yesterday but I didn't. I think I was too scared to see what it would say.

When I woke up this morning it was very apparent that I am not pregnant. Of course, my first reaction was relief. We wouldn't have to make our three bedroom house and four passenger car fit a fifth family member. Then, about 0.3 seconds later, I was sad. I was a more than a little disappointed that we weren't having number 3. I almost cried.

Now the only thing I feel is confused. I don't know what I want. For those three days that I thought I was pregnant, holding it inside because I was too scared to say the words, the only thing going through my mind was Joe is so getting snipped as soon as he isn't working 20 days in a row. Now I just don't know. I am totally confused.


Dear Googler

1) To the many individuals who have found my blog by googling "penus": it is spelled penis, with an i not a u. Get it straight. And to the guy who googled bad smelling penus. Wow dude, please see a doctor. That doesn't sound good. And the guy looking for penus shapes? There really are only two shapes: circumcised and uncircumcised. Perhaps you meant penus sizes or penus hangs to the left?

2) To all of those who have found my site by googling hookers. I am not now nor have I ever been a hooker nor am I associated with hookers. My dad just likes to talk about hookers. He lives in the Vegas area, there are a lot of hookers there. I am sorry to disappoint you but please move along. Of course, if you find me witty and charming and just can't leave I understand. But please know I am not a hooker.

3) To the many people wondering if children can get addicted to Tylenol...no. They cannot get addicted to Tylenol. I mean really, it's Tylenol. We're not talking Tylenol with codeine or anything fun like that. It is just plain old Tylenol. Follow the package directions and be sure to use appropriate dosing for the sake of their tiny kidneys.

4) and finally, to the people looking for a milk from breast foto I really don't understand. I have never taken a picture of myself or anyone I know breastfeeding. Nor have I squeezed my boob for the purpose of squirting milk and taking a picture. And, if I did, it was before we had a digital camera and I am way too lazy to scan that bad boy to post it here. Sorry.

I wonder what disturbing google terms will come from this post.



Wow. 100 posts. I believe the tradition is to write 100 random things about yourself. I had a hard time writing 6 random things about myself so, um, we'll see how this goes.

1. My name is not Collette
2. It is Stacie
3. My mom wanted to name me Anastacia
4. My dad wouldn't let her
5. They also considered Jennifer
6. But didn't want to be the 4 J's
7. My husband's name is not Raoul
8. It is Joe
9. Josef, actually
10. I do call my kids the Tweedles at home
11. But their friends call them Payton
12. and Caden
13. Except at school where Payton is known as Bella
14. I double majored in college
15. Organizational Administration
16. and Economics
17. and I hold a communications minor
18. I wanted to be an oncologist when I was in high school
19. Sometimes I still think about going back
20. My parents moved to CA when I was 18 (1998)
21. I moved 8 times between 1998 and 2000
22. I blame my parents move out west
23. I have a brother
24. His name is Jason
25. We call 1998 - 2000 his foggy years
26. I want 1 more child
27. Raoul does not
28. I was born in Mosinee
29. but grew up in Waukesha
30. I still live there
31. I always wanted to be a ballerina
32. Or an ice skater
33. But am a huge klutz
34. I don't like to clean
35. But when I start I get really into it
36. And can't stop
37. My favorite movie is To Each His Own
38. I cry every time I see it
39. I'm pissed it hasn't been released on DVD
40. P loves High School Musical
41. And I kind of like it too
42. I played on the tennis team in high school
43. But haven't played since I graduated
44. I got my first kiss when I was 12
45. At the park near my house
46. At the bottom of the slide
47. My friend was with me
48. And got her first kiss by the swings
49. She moved the Indiana
50. I haven't talked to her since
51. I'm kind of a chicken
52. I hate roller coasters
53. And fast cars
54. I'm more of a home body
55. I swear more on my blog than I do IRL
56. But the more I blog the more I swear
57. Only 3 people IRL life know about this blog
58. I have another one where I don't swear and only talk about the kids
59. Everyone knows about that blog
60. I have a serious soda addiction
61. I recently kicked it
62. At it's peak, I drank 6 or 7 a day
63. Now I hardly drink one a week
64. I have never used illegal substances of any kind
65. My brother did enough drugs for the both of us (see #25)
66. I've never even smoked a cigarette
67. I hate milk
68. I can eat it on cereal
69. But I gag if I have to drink it
70. I also blame that on my parents
71. I have a temper
72. It doesn't take much to push me over the edge
73. I am a planner
74. I know what we are doing for our 10 year anniversary
75. We just celebrated #8
76. We got married in Las Vegas
77. But have never had an official honeymoon
78. Because we were only 20 when we got married
79. And couldn't afford it
80. I love cooking but I hate baking
81. Baking is too precise
82. I like to throw stuff in a pot and see how it turns out
83. I hated fish
84. Until I met Raoul
85. Now I love it
86. Especially when he makes it
87. I work from home three days a week
88. I hate it
89. I can't wait to be back at the office full time
90. My birthday is May 20th
91. I'm a Taurus
92. If I had been born one day later
93. I would have been a Gemini
94. I have traits of both
95. I will be 29 this year
96. I am not nervous about turning 30
97. I think because I am very happy with my life
98. Except my weight
99. but I'm working on that
100. With Raoul's help, of course!

There you go. 100 things about me with only a little cheating.


I've been tagged

The lovely new mommy Jill tagged my times 2 this weekend.
The first tag is to open my photo folder to you all. Here are the official rules:
1. Go to your Picture Folder on your computer or wherever you store your pictures.
2. Go to the 6th Folder and then pick the 6th Picture.
3. Post it on your bloggy and tell the story that goes with the picture.
4. Tag 5 other people to do the same thing and leave a comment on their blog telling them about it.

The sixth picture is the sixth folder is this bad boy:

The hubby is the third from the left on the bottom. If you notice, they are all holding very large beer steins. Most of the guys in this picture were groomsmen at a Mother's Day wedding almost 2 years ago. It was taken at the end of the night after they had tapped out multiple kegs. The group calls themselves the Fly Guys. You see, Raoul works in sports entertainment. Many years ago, his employer had landed a large NBA team. Part of the deal was to provide those giant nylon guys that are attached to fans and blow around the stadium. Here is a picture:Anyway, because the company calls these things the fly guys, the team that installed them named themselves the fly guys. Then, just because having a little club wasn't enough, they gave themselves nicknames...after characters from Top Gun. The hubby goes by Maverick. Seriously. Not kidding. Do you think I could make this crap up?

So, the picture above is the fly guys (included are Goose, Sundown, Viper, Iceman, Wolfman, Slider, Maverick, Jester, Cougar, and Merlin but not in the order). I think there might be an extra guy in there that was related to the groom who wasn't actually a fly guy.

And now for the second tag I have to share 7 random things about myself. Okay, here we go

1) I love Cheerios. Most people eat popcorn when watching a movie but I open a box of Cheerios and those. Actually, I have a box of Cheerios open next to me right now.

2) I must have covers on when sleeping at all times. Even in the summer when it is 95 degrees outside I must have at least a sheet on. This stems from when I was a child. I was convinced there was a monster under my bed but couldn't get me as long as my body was under the covers.

3) Speaking of childhood phobias, Santa Clause totally freaked me out. And I am not talking cry when you sit on his lap. I am talking nightmares if I see his picture on TV before bed or read a book with him in it. It still freaks me out sometimes.

4) When I was a kid, my dad put shelves in my closet. They were huge shelves and were put up because my closet sat over the stairwell so I lost a lot of floor space. My best friend and made a secret fort on the top shelf. We would climb up there and hang out at sleep overs. We called our fort the Amazon. Miss ya Mere!

5) I have a serious obsession with the Girls Next Door. I was actually a little sad when Holly and Hef broke up because she was my favorite bunny. Oh, I miss that show.

6) I hate mornings. And, because I hate mornings and stay in bed way too long, I rarely style my hair. I wear it in a pony tail everyday except for holidays and parties. It takes me two or three years to get through a can of hairspray.

7) I really want a Stir Crazy. My parents had one when I was a kid and I loved the popcorn it made. I feel it is far superior to microwave popcorn and love the smell of the popping oil. I think I will remind Raoul, oops, I mean Maverick, that my birthday is coming up in just 5 short months and a stir crazy would be a perfect gift.

Okay, now I must tag 5 people for both and I choose:

Busted Babymaker

One Small Wish

Where's My Belly

Moms are for Everyone

Our Life and Two Dogs


Please tell me I am not the only one

It's 3:11am. I am sleeping on the couch because Raoul and I had a bit of a disagreement on Monday night and I wanted nothing to do with him and that included sleeping in our bed. Things are better now, we said our I'm sorrys and let it be. Thanks for asking all of you kind internets!

But, back to 3:11am. I wake up to the sound of giggling. Holy crap, I think to myself. Did I sleep so soundly on the couch that 6am came and went and I never noticed. I searched on the floor for my glasses because I am blind as a bat without them. Ah, yes, here they are. Okay what time is it? 3 fucking 11 in the morning! What the hell.

I throw the blanket off myself and stomp into the kitchen and yell down the basement stairs. Sure enough, P and C are playing in the basement having a grand ole time. Then they came to the bottom of the stairs, heads hung low, walked up the stairs and past me without raising their heads and went back to bed. I was too tired to lecture and they needed to get back to bed.

However, at the breakfast table the inquisition began. P was still in bed and C was eating away at his Kix. Let's recap the conversation:

Me: C, we need to talk about what happened last night.

C: Why? What's the big deal? It was just a play date.

Me: A play date?

C: Yeah, we planned it. P and I planned a middle of the night play date.

Me: You need to stay in bed until Daddy gets up to walk the dog. If Daddy isn't up yet it is too early to be up.

C: I know. But this was a play date.

Me: I understand. But you shouldn't have play dates at 3 o'clock in the morning.

C: Why? It. Was. Just. A. Play. Date.

Me: Just stay in bed until Daddy is up with the dog....mommy exits stage left to go to daughters room.

Me: P, we need to talk about what happened last night.

P: Yeah, we planned it.

Me: I know, C told me.

P: What! Why? He wasn't supposed to tell!

Me: It doesn't matter. You need to stay in bed until Daddy gets up with the dog.

P: But we wanted to set our alarm clocks so we could have a midnight play date.

Me: You set your alarms! Don't do it again.

P: Why? We wanted to have a play date.

Me: Do not do it again. End of discussion...mommy exits stage right to go get ready for work

P (under her breath): Fine.

I didn't yell at them. I was too damn tired. Afterall, I slept on the couch and had to break up a 2am play date at 3:11am. P complained all morning about how her tummy hurt and she wasn't hungry. "Well", I said, "I wouldn't feel well either if I got up to play at 2 in the morning. Stop complaining and eat your breakfast."

She went to school still whining and bitchy. Then, at 10:35, just after a conference call with a very pissed off client our admin came looking for me with the cordless. It was P's school. She had just thrown up all over health room and she would like me to come pick her up. Oops, looks like C gave P the flu. Ah well. We probably infected half the first grade and now I will be that mom. The one who sends their sick kid to school to infect all of the other not sick kids. And the worst part? I kind of had a feeling she was getting the flu but I really needed to be in an early morning meeting so I sent her to school anyway. I even told my boss I was expecting the school to call because I thought P was getting the flu.

What can I say, I am still perfecting that whole work life balance thing.


A New Me - Week 2

Here we are on week 2. I have not been very good about working out this week. Things were easy when I was off at Christmas and New Years because I had all the time in the world to workout. Last week was my first week back at work and it was insane. I worked every day and every evening. I hardly had time to keep the house picked up and I certainly didn't have time to run on the treadmill. So last Monday was the last time I was on the treadmill. I did do some quick workouts on my abs, buns, and thighs but no cardio and I only used 5 lbs hand weights. I didn't to anything on the universal gym in the basement. I hate waking up early but it looks like I am going to have to start if I want to get on the treadmill everyday.

Surprisingly, I did loose some weight...and it wasn't just in my boobs! But I didn't loose too much in the buns or thighs so I am looking for some good exercises that will concentrate on those areas. Alright, without further delay, here are this weeks measurements:

Boobs: 35" (no change)
Waist: 29" (down 1.5")
Hips: 36" (down 1.5")
Buns: 41" (down 0.5")
Thigh: 24" (down 0.5")

Not too bad if I do say so myself. My clothes still aren't fitting better because my biggest problem is in my buns and thighs. I am going to concentrate on those areas this week, hopefully I will see a bigger difference next week.

I am also going to stick to a better diet. I am thinking I will do 5 days of strict healthy eating and then be a little more lax on the weekends. I found a great area of FoodNetwork.com that has lots of low fat and healthy recipes. I wrote a couple down and bought the necessary ingredients yesterday. I am especially excited about a roasted tomato and basil soup recipe. I may have to make a few changes because it calls for 4 cups of fresh basil and it is winter so 4 cups will be really pricey. I am going to do a combo of fresh and dried. I'll post the recipe if it turns out okay.

Alrighty, off to treadmill before I have to head to the office.


Screw cleaning....

......The Goonies is on TV!!!!!! Yeah!!!! Who the hell needs a clean bathroom. Yes, C has been praying to the porcelain gods this week (did I forget to mention that? C had the flu again. This is number 3 for him) and it hasn't been cleaned since last weekend but its the Goonies! The bathrooms can get cleaned later. I'm watching the Goonies!

I almost died last night

It all started out innocently enough. I was shoveling the 4 inches of snow sitting on the driveway (stupid Raoul is out of town and I am scared of the snow blower) while the kids played with their new sleds. We were all having a grand ole time, me aching and swearing at the snow, the kids laughing and playing with the snow. Finally, after an hour of back breaking shovel pushing, I was done. To celebrate my triumph over nature I got out the giant tube that blew into our yard a few weeks back and rounded up the kiddies for some sled time. Yes, we stole it. No, we didn't try to find the owner.

Anyway, since I was all bundled up in my snow gear, I was pumped to plummet down the hill. First, the boy and I went. Then just the girl. Then the boy and I again. Then the girl. You get the picture. The squealing must have upset Chicken Shit because he came barrelling out of the garage and chased the boy and I down the hill. Oh we laughed! It was fun.

I wanted to see what the dog would do if I went down the tube on my own. So I got on and he freaked out. He started pacing and panting and sitting in front of the tube. I moved to the left to get away from him when I heard "Bombs away!" come from behind me. My head slapped back and my body lurched forward. The had boy kicked the back of the tube and down I went....straight for the tree. The damn tube was too big to steer, I was gaining speed, and the tree was getting closer. I freaked out. As I was bracing for impact I instinctively stuck my leg out. I guess I figured a broken leg was better than a cracked skull. What I didn't realize at the time was the tube is so damn big I would have just bounced off the tree because the tree isn't huge. And I had to go up the snow bank before hitting the tree and snow bank slowed me down quite a bit. So really, I didn't have to sacrifice my leg but I didn't realize that in my state of panic.

I survived but my leg is killing me. I haven't been on the treadmill since Monday because I have been super busy at work and it looks like it will be a few more days until I get back on. My arm still hurts a bit from the fall down the stairs (You remember the one. I had a giant soda in my hand and it spilled all me over as I tumbled down the stairs. Good times.) and now my leg hurts. I am not happy with the boy and I can't help but wonder if the girl helped put the idea in his head. I can just hear the whispering, "C, wouldn't it be funny if we pushed mommy down the hill!" They like to gang up on me when Raoul is out of town. I think this is going be a long weekend...less than 48 hours until Raoul gets home. Hurry baby!


An egg donor no more

Part of my bloggy break had to do with my quest to egg donation. Just after Thanksgiving I got the news that I have not been accepted into the program I was hoping to get into. If you recall, way back when, my clinic asked me for some information regarding our families hearing loss. My parents were in the middle of a move and my dad had packed up the paper work related to the testing I had done 17 years ago. He didn't remember the name of the clinic (seriously, it was 17 years ago) and I couldn't find any information on the internet.

I reluctantly called the clinic with the bad news. They were understanding but reiterated that they can't place me into a donor program without that information. They will hold on to my paper work and, if I ever find anything, let them know. I still have a few years before I am too old to donate so this may not be the end. My dad will continue to look for the necessary documents but I have a feeling it is still in their storage unit 4 hours north of their new house.

I wasn't sure what to do with that information and this blog. I started it to track the donation process. I couldn't find a lot of information on the internet and I wanted to be a resource of sorts. But, I don't have that now. I couldn't decide if I should keep blogging or hang up the blogging hat. Could I hack it as a mommy blogger? There are so many amazing mommy bloggers out there and I felt I couldn't compare.

After a little thought and a lot of wine, I decided I started this blog for me. Plus, the content about egg donation so far has been very minimal because I never got past the application process. So, if I started it for me I should keep it for me. The content may change ever so slightly but it is still a great release for myself and something I enjoy. And, when the kids are 16 and ready to head off to prom, it will be great blackmail!


I should be sleeping right now

...but I'm not. I worked from 7:30 - 4:30 at job #1 then 5-10:45 at job #2. I am tired. My feet hurt. My muscles are sore. My eyes are burning. So why am I typing a blog post? Because Raoul is snoring like a motorboat. I tries sleeping on the couch but the dog followed me and now he is snoring like a motorboat.

I have to be at work at 7am. Thank goodness I work from home and can go to work in my jammies. I wonder if the preschool mom's would look down upon my red and pink plaid flannel jammie pants.

In other news, the school sent home kindergarten registration papers for my little C. I didn't think I would have a hard time with C starting kindergarten but I was a little sad when Raoul told me they were in her folder.

I am excited for him to get started with that part of his life because he will love it. But, I am sad to see my baby go to school. I guess I have nearly nine months to get used to the idea. I was okay with P but she has always been much more independent than C.

If my posts start to get really depressing in August, you will know why.


A new me - week one

Have you ever seen that Slim Quick commercial? The one where the husband and wife are standing on the floor and she is talking about ordering salads when they go out to eat. She points to the hubby and says this is what happened to him *cartoon man slims way down*. Then she says and this is what happened to me *cartoon women's boobs disappear*. Well, now I know how she feels.

On 12/27 I took my measurements. I had already decided I was going to log my progress here and wanted a jumping off point. Here is what I got:

Boobs: 36.5 inches
Waist (measured at the smallest area torso): 30.5 inches
Hips (measured around the belt line near the hips bones): 37.5 inches
Butt (measures around the largest part of the arse): 41.5 inches
Thighs (just one, not both): 24.5 inches

This morning, just after a workout, I measured again. The only thing that changed was my boobs, down to 35.0 inches. I am trying to stay positive and tell myself it was back fat melting away not the girls. I am rather attached to the girls and if they continue to shrink I will be one pissed off camper. Thankfully Raoul is an ass man so if my boobs melt away he won't care much.

What was blogger thinking??

I just commented on a blog that has a word verification. No big deal right? Well, the verification word was analpis. Hahahahahaha!!!!! I'm such a 5 year old.

Stop back later for my first New Me update!


A resolution of sorts

Way back in September I asked Raoul if he would help me pick out a treadmill. I don't like running outside but wanted to start to get into shape again. You see, about two years ago I went from a run around for 8 hours a day job to a sit at a desk all day job. My weight has slowly gone up since then I have been more and more unhappy with it. Lately I started to notice I had no energy and was crabby all the time. I knew I needed to do something and I knew Raoul would be willing to help. He has never once commented about my weight gain but he is very healthy and very trim so I knew he would be happy when I told him my plan.

Unfortunately, life got the better of us and we never went to get one. Finally, on Thanksgiving, I couldn't fit into a single pair of pants and the tights I bought didn't fit. I had to settle for my fat pants. I bought them online a few years ago and they were way too big. For some reason I saved them and its a good thing I did or else I would have had to wear jammies to my aunt's house. Needless to say, I was pissed and started to get pretty down about myself.

So, during Thanksgiving weekend, we bought a treadmill. We got a great deal on it and I was pumped to start using it. It was clean and new and had fun settings and stuff to play with. But it was in the basement, the cold and yucky basement. I had fallen into such a habit of laziness that it was hard to find the motivation to walk down those stairs and get on the treadmill. It took a few days but I finally got on it.

Now, I hate exercise so I started slow. I knew if I did too much too soon I would tired and sore and stop quicker than I started. I started walking at low speeds and no incline. Everyday I did a little more, with a little more incline, and a little faster. Then, I added weights and a yoga ball after the treadmill. I worked out harder than I had worked out since I was in college and took a fitness class. I don't have a scale but I thought with all the hard work I was doing I must have lost a few pounds. Of course, I didn't expect to drop it all it a few weeks but I thought there would be some progress. Which is why I wasn't afraid to step on the scale that sat on the bathroom floor at Raoul's grandma's house. And, when the scale tipped higher than it has ever been I didn't understand. Was the scale broken? Was I gaining muscle so the loss of fat was canceled out? That must be it. Or at least a combination of the two.

But, on Christmas morning, the fat pants that I relied upon to get me through Thanksgiving didn't fit. I could hardly pull them up. After stressing and straining to get them on, I couldn't button them. Then I had to stress and strain to get them off. Raoul tried to tell me I looked trimmer and he could tell I was making progress but I wasn't buying it. I actually gained weight! What the fuck is that? Why work out if I am just going to pack it on?

I am too cheap to join weight watchers so I am asking this wonderful blogging community to be my support group. I will be using this blog to track my progress and post my weekly measurements on Mondays. I don't plan to weigh myself because I don't feel weight is an accurate reflection of health and fitness. Afterall, muscle weighs more than fat and I am doing weight training. My goal is to fit into the skirt I wore to Pk and J's wedding rehersal a few years ago. I am calling this a resolution of sorts because I am not resolving to loose weight, I am changing my lifestyle. I am working to become a healthier and hopefully happier me.


A belated foto friday

I skipped Foto Friday yesterday so here is a belated version. Please enjoy a few pictures of the kids with Satan's Sand, oh, I mean Moon Sand. And, of course, the snowman the kids made after the 13.5 inches we got just before Christmas.


The great freak out of 2009

This year, Raoul got the brilliant idea to let the kids stay up as late as they could on New Years but put a limit of 12:30am on it. PK and J came over for sushi and jello shots and the guys started taking bets on how long the kids would stay awake. We had no doubt P would make it all night. She has been known to stay up until 11:30 reading Junie B Jones books. But C loves to sleep and we didn't think he would make it.

They did pretty well all night, riding on their chocolate chip and puppy chow induced high. They played games, watched movies, and left the adults to the adult fun. Although, they did have a hard time understanding why we could eat the jello but they couldn't.

At 10:30, Raoul gave C 40 more minutes. J was not as kind and only gave him 20 more minutes. The Polar Express went in, and C went out like a light at 11:00. As predicted P made it all the way. She watched the ball drop and was thrilled at what a big girl she was.

Then it happened. At 12:05, Raoul told P it was time for bed. She started to freak out. She kicked and screamed and cried and yelled and howled. She arched her back when we tried to pick her up and tears filled her beat red face. She may have made it to midnight but she was in no mood to be fucked with.

I offered to take P if Raoul would deal with C. Raoul defiantly got the better end of the deal because C only woke up momentarily when the ball dropped. I picked up the little ball of fury and carried her into her room. She continued to cry, insisting she wasn't tired (Yeah, right, not tired my ass) and she could stay up all night! I finally calmed her down. It only took two stories about Princess P and her brother Prince C and a song.

I think next year we will have to be sure P knows bedtime is at 12:05am. As soon as the kisses have been handed out she gets to bed. Hopefully we can avoid the great freak out of 2010.



My husband is a dumbass

Every year Raoul participates in the time honored tradition of....oh who the hell am I kidding. The dumbass strips down and jumps into a freezing cold lake. Fucking moron. They call is going polar bearing, I call it stupid.

Every year he and his father head down to Lake Michigan and stand there with hundreds of other dumbasses waiting in the freezing cold and howling wind to jump into a frozen lake. Raoul has been bugging me for years to come down and watch but I simply smile and say I am more of an indoor person, especially when the wind chill is below zero.

This year proved to be especially dangerous as there were huge icebergs preventing them from getting into the lake. Usually they can run in from the shore, take a dip, then run out. This year, the walls of ice made that impossible. Did that stop the dumbasses? Oh hell no. They jumped in from the ice walls and then had to scramble to climb the walls to get out. Raoul, being the kind soul he is, stood on the ledge dripping wet lending a hand to other idiots trying to scramble out.

Raoul's dad decided his bum knee couldn't handle the climb and sat this year out. Thankfully, Raoul recruited a new dumbass to take the plunge with him so he wasn't alone. This was year 12 for Raoul and he likes to have rookies join him.

I understand the ride home is especially painful. Raoul's body begins to shut down from the cold and feels as though someone is stabbing him with hundreds of pins. By the time he makes the 25 minute drive to the house he is exhausted and needs a hot shower and a nap.

I just don't understand. I wish I could blame it on testosterone or the male ego but there are women who participate as well. You'll never find me out there. I prefer to sit home in my flannel jammies and play P's Nintendo DS.

As soon as we have 2009 video and pictures I will post them!