1.04.2009

A resolution of sorts

Way back in September I asked Raoul if he would help me pick out a treadmill. I don't like running outside but wanted to start to get into shape again. You see, about two years ago I went from a run around for 8 hours a day job to a sit at a desk all day job. My weight has slowly gone up since then I have been more and more unhappy with it. Lately I started to notice I had no energy and was crabby all the time. I knew I needed to do something and I knew Raoul would be willing to help. He has never once commented about my weight gain but he is very healthy and very trim so I knew he would be happy when I told him my plan.

Unfortunately, life got the better of us and we never went to get one. Finally, on Thanksgiving, I couldn't fit into a single pair of pants and the tights I bought didn't fit. I had to settle for my fat pants. I bought them online a few years ago and they were way too big. For some reason I saved them and its a good thing I did or else I would have had to wear jammies to my aunt's house. Needless to say, I was pissed and started to get pretty down about myself.

So, during Thanksgiving weekend, we bought a treadmill. We got a great deal on it and I was pumped to start using it. It was clean and new and had fun settings and stuff to play with. But it was in the basement, the cold and yucky basement. I had fallen into such a habit of laziness that it was hard to find the motivation to walk down those stairs and get on the treadmill. It took a few days but I finally got on it.

Now, I hate exercise so I started slow. I knew if I did too much too soon I would tired and sore and stop quicker than I started. I started walking at low speeds and no incline. Everyday I did a little more, with a little more incline, and a little faster. Then, I added weights and a yoga ball after the treadmill. I worked out harder than I had worked out since I was in college and took a fitness class. I don't have a scale but I thought with all the hard work I was doing I must have lost a few pounds. Of course, I didn't expect to drop it all it a few weeks but I thought there would be some progress. Which is why I wasn't afraid to step on the scale that sat on the bathroom floor at Raoul's grandma's house. And, when the scale tipped higher than it has ever been I didn't understand. Was the scale broken? Was I gaining muscle so the loss of fat was canceled out? That must be it. Or at least a combination of the two.

But, on Christmas morning, the fat pants that I relied upon to get me through Thanksgiving didn't fit. I could hardly pull them up. After stressing and straining to get them on, I couldn't button them. Then I had to stress and strain to get them off. Raoul tried to tell me I looked trimmer and he could tell I was making progress but I wasn't buying it. I actually gained weight! What the fuck is that? Why work out if I am just going to pack it on?

I am too cheap to join weight watchers so I am asking this wonderful blogging community to be my support group. I will be using this blog to track my progress and post my weekly measurements on Mondays. I don't plan to weigh myself because I don't feel weight is an accurate reflection of health and fitness. Afterall, muscle weighs more than fat and I am doing weight training. My goal is to fit into the skirt I wore to Pk and J's wedding rehersal a few years ago. I am calling this a resolution of sorts because I am not resolving to loose weight, I am changing my lifestyle. I am working to become a healthier and hopefully happier me.

5 comments:

Tiffi33 said...

http://www.dwlz.com/
This has alot of WW points & WW info..

and I am so w/ you..I need to do SOMETHING..this xmas was a GLUT of FOOD...and my favorite foods at that....I can FEEL the weight and I hate it..

I'll help ya as much as I can :)

Collette said...

Thanks for the website! I'll have to look at it a little later today after I park the kids in front of Wall-E.

optimisticallyhopeful said...

Good luck to you with your new endeavor! I too feel like I need to do something, but am entirely too lazy to start anything. Hopefully your progress will inspire me to get going! I'm so glad you're back to blogging, by the way!!

Collette said...

Thanks so much. Hopefully your next IVF will be more successful. I'll be follwing along with crossed fingers and toes.

Aunt Becky said...

Been there, sister. Oh, have I been there. I did WW after Alex (and will do after Amelia) and it took FOREVER to lose anything. Depressing as all get out.

I wish I had some awesome advice, but I don't. It'll come off, I promise.