Irrational

It's a bright and sunny July day. The kids and I are at a pool party. Joe is at work. The sun is warm and relaxing. I can feel my skin warming in the sunlight. I raise my face to the sky and the warmth washes over me. I can smell the meat cooking on the grill. The kids are laughing. Payton is in the pool without floaties on. Where is Caden? By the grill with guys, he still has foaties on, no problem. Pay attention to the girl, she is the pool without floaties. She is doing a good job. She is keeping a float on the noodle. Where is Caden? Still by the grill hanging out with the guys. Sill has his floaties on. Payton is off the noodle. Look at that, she can touch the bottom. She sure is getting big. I am so proud of her. Where is Caden? He's not by the grill anymore. Where is Caden? He's not with the girls on the lawn chairs. Where is Caden! Caden! Has anyone seen Caden! Caden! Oh my god he fell in the pool. He's not wearing his floaties! Get him! Swim, swim, faster, he's slipping under. Caden, kick baby kick, mommy is coming! Swim, swim, grab him. I've got you. Come here baby. Mommy has you. Come on, lets get out and sit down. It's okay baby, mommy has you. Don't cry baby mommy is here. Mommy got you. Mommy has you, don't cry. It's okay, mommy won't let you go. I'm sorry mommy, I just wanted to get that penny. I'm sorry mommy. I just wanted my penny back. It fell in the water, I was just reaching for it. I'm sorry mommy. Ssshhh, baby, mommy here.


Then I wake up, it's dark and cold. My face is wet with tears. Caden is safe in his bed. Joe is sound asleep next to me. Why did I just have that dream? That happened almost two years ago. Oh yeah, we're going to a water park today. Joe isn't coming, he has to work. Note to self: pack a life vest, never let him leave your sight, leave the pennies at home.