I can't believe how much Payton has grown over the last six months. In August, just before school started, I went school shopping. I bought her 3 pairs of jeans, several pairs of shoes, and ballet shoes. The jeans were way too big. Thankfully, most kids jeans have that wonderful adjustable waistband so I cinched it as tight as I could and rolled up the cuffs.

Now, six months later, her jeans are so tight so can't snap them and they look like capris. I bought new jeans on Wednesday and they fit her perfect. They are two sizes bigger than the jeans I bought in August. I can't believe she has grown 2 sizes is just 6 months! This is the first time since she was an infant that jeans didn't fit her for an entire season. Funny thing is, only her jeans are too big. Her shirts all fit her just fine.

And the shoes! Oh holy hell the shoes! She is on her third pair of ballet shoes since she started in August and only has one pair of shoes that fit her really well. At this rate, I am going to go broke. I used to buy myself new shoes and jeans. I haven't bought a pair of shoes since my hooker boots and my jeans are from last spring. Seriously, if she doesn't stop growing, you may have to make room in your house for me because I can't afford this anymore.


Life changes

At dinner tonight I was pondering how my life has changed. It wasn't too long ago that Joe and I would sit at the table discussing sailing and politics over a dinner of salmon, asparagus and pasta. Okay, that isn't really true. When I say sailing I mean sex because that is what we called sex when we were around my family but didn't want to say sex. And the only politics discussed was me telling Joe why I was right and if he didn't agree with me he was wrong. But that salmon and asparagus - that totally happened.

Anyway, it wasn't that long ago that we we having adult meals and adult conversation. On glass plates! With glass, um, glasses! And wine! Tonight wasn't like that and neither have most nights for about the last 5 years. Now at dinner we talk about why it is important to cover our mouth when we burp and playing a rousing game of who just farted. Now we eat cheese filled turkey hot dogs and frozen corn with milk. On plastic plates. and plastic cups. Sometimes, on a really special night, we have chocolate milk! I know. I'm crazy like that.

The funny things is, as much as I loved my salmon and sex talk, I love my fart talk and frozen corn more. I love being a mom. I don't care about the parties I missed and trips I can't go on. I love my kids and everything about them. Sometimes I forget that and get caught up in everything I don't have. Sometime I look at my married with no kids friends and get a little jealous of their freedom. Then I listen to the gut busting giggle coming out of Payton's mouth because Caden just dropped it in the car and OH MY GOD! it smells so bad and I remember how much I love them.


Taxes suck

I got the brilliant idea to do out taxes on Saturday. I bought Tax Cut and was ready to go. I was all set up on the couch with the laptop, ready for those refund dollars to start piling up. About five minutes in, when it came time to claim my dependents, I realized I needed the kids social security numbers. So, up I go to head down to the basement and fish out the SS cards. But they weren't where I thought I had put them. So I tried to think about the last time I had them. Hmmmmm........last summer Joe's dad opened a savings account for them and need their numbers. I put them in my wallet. Maybe they were still there.

So, back up the stairs I climbed to find my purse. But, the cards weren't there either. Oh crap. Okay, think. Where did I put those cards? Oh shit. The car was broken into last summer and my purse was dumped out. What if they stole the kids cards and then used their numbers? Oh shit. Their credit is ruined before they even had a chance to ruin it themselves. I kept looking anyway. I needed their numbers to do my taxes and I wanted to exhaust all options before I went and stood in line at the social security office to get new cards.

Okay, what purse did I use last summer? I am a purse whore. I never use the same purse for more than a few months and I always change for the seasons. I pulled out my pile of purses and started looking through all of them. Finally, after a good hour of searching, I found them stuffed in a pocket of one of my purses. Thank god! Back to my taxes.

I was cruising through. I had our W-2s entered and all of my deductions in order: interest on the mortgage, student loan interest, property taxes, donations. All of it added up to a sizable deduction and I was seeing that refund build! Alrighty, time to enter my childcare expenses. Oh crap! Our daycare provider didn't list her ssn on our receipt for the year. Dammit all! Back to the basement to root through our files to find our old taxes to get her number. Of course, we got a new desk about a month back and I still haven't organized anything. I had no idea where our old taxes were.

After an hour of searching, I finally found what I needed. Back upstairs to enter the information. I finished everything up and was all set to e-file. Just 5 to 7 days until that wonderful refund is in my mailbox! Wait, I need my PIN from last year (I didn't e-file last year, I don't have a PIN) or my adjusted gross income from last year. Son of a bitch! Back to the basement to look for 2007 taxes to get my AGI. I looked for 30 minutes and found the folder I neatly labeled 2007 taxes. Then I opened the folder and it was empty. Oh for god's sake I hate taxes!

I never did find my taxes for 2007. Now I need to figure out how I am going to file these damn things. I don't have a printer that is compatible with my laptop. My laptop has Vista and the printer I have is compatible with XP which we have on our desktop. Of course, I did the taxes on the laptop thinking I could e-file but now I don't have what I need to do that. I can't print the forms to paper file. I could call the IRS to get my AGI but when I tried I got hung up on...three times. Seriously, I hate tax season.


A New Me - Week 8

Remember last week when I said I was going to get back on the treadmill to start running again? Remember how I said my knee was feeling better and I wanted to get back on the horse? Well, that dream died a bit. I ran on Monday. Tuesday was my 23 hour day in California so, um, yeah, no working out that day. And Wednesday, while running through the airport to catch my connection, I messed up my knee again. Yeah me! I have gone through so much ibuprofen in the last 3 weeks I surprised I don't have an ulcer yet. And if I have to apply one more ice pack I swear I am going to get frost bite.

I have stuck to eating healthier though. It was hard to eat healthy this week because I haven't been grocery shopping in a while and we are running out of the healthy stuff. I have noticed pants are fitting better. I have a smaller muffin top and my pants aren't as tight in my thighs. Okay, on to measurements:

Boobs: 33" (no change)
Waist: 28" (no change)
Hips: 35.5" (down 0.5")
Butt: 38" (down 1")
Thighs: 23" (down 1")


Stalker boyfriend type in training

Me: Hey Buddy! You get to eat lunch at school with your friends today!

Caden: I know! I'm going to sit by Lucy.

Me: Oh, that is nice. Are you going to ask her if she wants to sit by you when you get to school?

Caden: No.

Me: Then what are you going to do?

Caden: I'll wash my hands first then I'm going to stand by the wall and wait for her to wash her hands and sit down. Then, I am going to sit next to her and tell her she is my favorite friend.

Me: What if she sits between two people and you can't sit next to her? Maybe you should tell her you would like to sit by her.

Caden: Oh, she won't sit by someone else. I will make sure I have room by her. I will tell the other boys and girls she is my favorite friend and I am sitting next to her. Then I will have room.

Me: But wouldn't it just be easier to ask Lucy to save you a space?

Caden: No, mommy. I am just going to watch her and wait. That is how I do it.

Me: Okay, well, good luck with that.

After picking him up from school...............

Me: Did you get to sit by Lucy at lunch?

Caden: No.

Me: Why not? What happened?

Caden: The teachers put ours names on the table and we had to sit by our names. Lucy wasn't even at my table.

Me: I'm sorry buddy. Maybe you can sit with Lucy next time you have lunch at school.

Caden: Mommy, I just don't want to talk about it right now. Please don't ask me about Lucy anymore today.

Me: Okay little man. Mommy won't talk about Lucy anymore.


Why traveling with my employer sucks

A few weeks back my employer asked me if I could go to Cali on a trip to have a face to face visit with the client I manage. I have no objections with plane rides and like to mix it up and get out of the office so I agreed to go. What I didn't know was my employer makes sure you get in, do what you need to do and get out in as little time as possible. Here is a recap of my trip:

Tuesday 2/17
  • Wake up at 3am to get ready and catch 6:10am flight
  • Travel 6 hours from Milwaukee to Orange County
  • Land at 11:06
  • Run to rental car to get to lunch meeting with client by 11:30
  • Head back to client headquarters for 1:30 meeting
  • Go to little cafe at 3:30 to debrief with my coworkers
  • Go back to hotel at 5:10
  • Change for business dinner
  • Meet at 5:45 for dinner
  • Back in the hotel room at 8 to read the 90 e-mails I got during the day and solve the 100 issues that came up
  • Bed at midnight (2 am WI time, that means I was up for 23 hours)

Wednesday 2/18

  • Wake up at 4am the next morning to catch 6:45am flight
  • Wait in plane on runway for 25 minutes cause planes can't take off until after 7. So why schedule flights for 6:45am? WHY!!!!!!
  • Travel 3 hours
  • Land at gate 2A with only 10 minutes to get to my connection which is leaving from gate 76A
  • Fuck! RUN!!!!!!!!!!! No time to pee. Sorry bladder. Can't get stuck in Denver!
  • Get on plane just in time. Fly 3 more hours.
  • Pick up kids
  • Work until 11pm because I have 90 more e-mails and 100 more problems to solve

What don't I mind about traveling with these guys?

  • The $150 sushi meal that I didn't have to pay for. Best sushi ever!
  • The $240 a night suite I didn't have to pay for (seriously, the nicest hotel room I have every stayed in).
  • The Lexus SUV rental I didn't have to pay for (it was the only car they had left).
  • The ability to put a face to the crazy lady who is my contact at our client.
  • The chance to hear to the founder and former owner of my employer say "Wow, your client is a serious bitch! How do you work with her every single day?"


A new me - week 7

I took last week off from working out. My knee is slowly getting better and I hope to be back on the treadmill and on the weights tonight. I hate that I didn't work out at all last week but I really think I pulled something in my knee and felt it was best to rest it.

I may have taken the week off in gym but I certainly stuck to my healthier eating. I steared clear of the crap and ate a lot of fish, whole grains, and veggies. I have noticed that I have so much more energy these last 7 weeks. I have more patience for the kids and seem to be more focused at work. These changes have definately been positive for me and my life.

I won't post measurements this week as there is really no change from the last time I posted. Of course I expected that because I didn't run or lift at all last and only twice the week before. I expected it and I am okay with it.

A kick in the stomach

I don't talk about my parents very much on this blog. It's not because I am not close to them but because they live across the country and I don't see them very often. I talk to them every weekend and they come home every summer and some Christmases. We are very close. I love them very much and can't imagine my life without them in it.

The worrier in me hates that they live so far away. I was always afraid something would happen and I would be too far away to do anything. Or, as they aged I wouldn't be there to take care of them. Working in the medical profession I see patients aging and needing help from children. I want to be there to help them but I can't if they are 2,000 miles away.

Last week, my biggest fear was realized. My mom called and the first words out of her mouth were "Hey Stace. Dad was in a pretty serious car accident." My heart stopped. The only words I could think the mutter were why. Thankfully, the next words out of her mouth were he is alive and he is at home. Thank God.

He was 90 minutes into a 4 hour drive when a terrible snow storm hit. He got caught in white out conditions and ended up in a 22 car pile up caused by a jack knifed semi truck. He was somewhere in the middle of the accident. He was hit from multiple sides. Both his front and side air bags deployed. He is cut and has some pretty serious bruising as well as a concussion. It was unavoidable and we are lucky he is alive. He doesn't remember much of the events leading up to the accident or what followed. But he does remember seeing a baby being taken from the car he hit. The baby was blue and died later in the hospital.

My dad is not doing well. He is a caring, kind, and generous man. He rarely puts himself first and loves his grandchildren fiercely. He is very depressed over the death of the baby. He is blaming himself. It was not his fault. He is a very cautious driver and was caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. But he is hurting and confused and I can't help him. He won't talk about the accident. He said if his car is not totalled (though I can't imagine why it wouldn't be) he won't drive it again. He can't get into it.

I hate that I am stuck in WI while he works through this thousands of miles away. Of course, he is not alone. He has my mom and they wonderful and supportive friends. But he is my daddy and I should be there with him. He spent his entire adult life being there for me. I feel helpless so far away and I hate feeling helpless.


What is a tooth worth?

$3. At least, that is what Payton got for her first tooth. It fell out Sunday night while I was making dinner. She was thrilled. It all started at the dentist last week. He discovered her bottom tooth was loose and it was downhill from there. She was obsessed with that tooth. She spent her ballet class wiggling it instead of dancing. She wiggled while she watched TV and wiggled while she ate her dinner.

On Sunday she bit into an apple and realized it caused her tooth to become quite loose. She set a goal to have that tooth out by the time she went to bed Sunday. She carried a bowl around with her in case it fell out and she needed somewhere to put it. She spent all day working on it. As I was preparing dinner she was stealing the baby corn. All it took was one bite (and days of non stop pestering) to push the tooth over the edge.

She came running into the kitchen yelling "Mommy! My tooth is blooding!" They say blooding instead of bleeding! So cute! Anyway, I got her to open her mouth with the promise that I wouldn't touch her tooth. I just needed to look at it. Well, mommy lied. The tooth was hanging by a string so I pulled it out. She didn't even realize I had done it. When I opened my hand and showed her the tooth she was thrilled.

I still stop when I look at her holey smile because I am not used to seeing it. She likes to stick her tongue through it and play with the hole. She has another loose tooth next to the one she just lost. I wonder how long it will take for that one to fall out?


Talking her off the ledge

Okay, no new me post today. Sorry, I lied. All for the better though because I don't have much to report. Didn't work out much because I my knee, ate okay, still need to take this weeks measurements but I am not expecting much. And, I want to apologize ahead of time for this post. If it is really jumpy aroundy I am sorry but it is late and I have no intention of editing it. And she just called again...it's 11:30pm.

My real post is about a friend of mine. Because more of my friends in real life are starting to read this I am not going to name names. I think she would prefer I didn't. Anyway, this friend of mine is going through a really hard time and tonight was the straw that broke my back. She called me at 10:22. I didn't answer the phone. She called again at 10:23. I didn't answer the phone. Then she left a panicky message on my machine and called back at 10:25. I answered to phone right away.

You see, just last week she called very early in the morning on a Monday. She usually calls on weekends so I knew something was up. Turns out the night before her and her finance got into an argument. I'm not sure what it was about but it was bad. He hit her and choked her and pinned her down on the ground. He called her stupid, worthless, and made her feel like she didn't matter. I begged her to call the police and file a report. I asked if she needed help throwing his crap out onto the lawn but she said she didn't. She stayed with him. When I asked her why she said he had some information he was using to blackmail her. Of course, she didn't use those words but that is essentially what he is doing. Whatever it is she is scared she will loose her job, her license to practice nursing, and the respect of her family.

Tonight she called again. The finance was drinking again and this time she was with him. They left the bar because she ran out of money. Oh! Did I forget to mention he has been living in her house for the last year and half rent free....with no job....and no money! She paid for everything! Anyway, she ran out of money so they left the bar. They got into some kind of argument in the car and he kicked her out and drove away. He left her 20 blocks from their house in the cold and the rain. I offered to pick her up and I begged her to stay at our house tonight but she wouldn't let me. We talked on the phone for a long time. She was pretty hysterical so I didn't understand very much in the beginning.

I calmed her down toward the end and she started to make a bit more sense. She feels very alone right now. She feels like she doesn't have a good support system and she feels like she has let everyone down. I know she was drinking tonight and I know she went home to him. I begged her not to but she just wouldn't listen. I was ready to get into the car, pick her up, and bring her here. I am so worried about her. I just have this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and I can't shake it. I asked her to call me first thing in the morning so I know she is safe.

The really terrible thing is she is planning on marrying him. She is so afraid of whatever it is he has on her that she won't leave him. I asked if she can spend the rest of her life like this but she didn't really have an answer. She is afraid to kick him out of the house because he kicked the door down once. I am supposed to be a bridesmaid in her wedding and I am thinking I may tell her I can't do it. I just can't stand by and support this marriage.

A friend in need

I will be doing a new post later today but this needed to be done first. I was talking with a coworker last week who has become a good friend and she is having a very hard time right now. She started a blog this weekend and I really think she could use some love. Please go give her support and let her know she is not alone.


Could it be true.....

It is 48 outside! Hells to the yeah because holy shit it was cold earlier this week. Like 9 degrees cold. I know it is February and this can't possibly last but it is so wonderful while it is here! Spring is coming. The snow will melt and I will be able to toil in my garden again. I can start to bore you with pictures of my flowers and my kids at the beach. Yeah for you!

But seriously, I am really looking forward to spring. It has been a long cold winter. We didn't have nearly as much snow this year as we did last year but it has been markedly colder. The kids have some serious cabin fever and so do I. I want to run on the trails and not the treadmill. I can't wait to sit in the green grass and feel the sun warm my skin while the kids play in the kiddie pool.

I can't wait to plant my raspberry bushes and my strawberry plants. I can't wait to fill the one remaining empty bed and watch as the plants I put in the ground last year grow and bloom. I love spring. I love early summer.

Of course, by late August, you will reading a similar post. Except it will talk about me being sick of the long, hot, and dry summer. I won't be able to wait for cooler fall days and I will be craving my winter comfort foods. I will be anxiously waiting for the first cool day to pull out the slow cooker and start on my endless weeks of making apple sauce. I will be counting the seconds until I can make chicken soup, chili, beef stroganoff, minestrone, and rotisserie chicken. I will be sick of salads and the grill and avoiding the kitchen because the oven makes the house so damn hot.

So is the life of a Wisconsinite.



I am so bored! I am so boring! It is a Friday night and my plans are to feed the kids and sign back on to the computer to work! What the HELL!!!!!! What the hell happened to me?!?!?!?!?! And what's worse than that? I had this big post planned for tomorrow when I realized it was about my cat....drinking water. I am not even 30 and my posts have been reduced (or seduced as I used to say as a young child) to shit about my cat. I don't even have a bottle of wine in the house to make the night a little interesting. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm going to cave. For your viewing pleasure, the cat. This is her first time on my blog. You know her as Fat Ass, we named her Chloe, she responds to Fatty. Maybe if I post about her now I will come up with something a little more interesting tomorrow. Of course, tomorrow will consist of cleaning bathrooms and going to Wal-Mart so chances are slim. Anyway, like I said, meet Fat Ass.

"That damn dog is laying on the couch. Maybe if I stare at him long enough he will burn up and die. Then I can have the house back"

"Damn, all that dog staring made me thirsty"

"Sometimes those sons of bitches that brought the dog to my house get water from this silver thing."

"Maybe if I sit here long enough water will start to come out..."

"Uh! Success!"

Little mister sensative

As I have whined about twice this week (now three times) I have an unexplained knee injury that is fine in the morning and gets worse as the day goes on. Actaully, everything I have posted this week is about this damned knee. God my life is boring! As I was saying, I didn't work out Tuesday or Wednesday because I wanted to take a break and let my knee heal a bit. I decided I wouldn't take Thursday off because I didn't want to get into bad habits. I suited up and got on the treadmill. But, by 0.6 miles I couldn't run through the pain anymore. I got off and did a couple rounds on the weights and went upstairs. It hurt so bad to walk up the stairs I barely made it so I went straight to our bedroom to lay down.

Well, Caden saw the pain I was in a got very concerned. He immediately offered to rub my back and read me books. He made me stay in bed while he got a stuffed toy for me to snuggle with, a book for me to read, and a shake and go racer for me to, um, play with? Anyway, he rubbed my back, got my pajama pants for me, and kept brushing my cheek and asking if I needed anything. How sweet is my little man!!!

8:30 rolled around and it was time for bed. He left the room and I got into bed too. I closed the door, turned out the light, and tried to sleep. Considering I was falling asleep at dinner I didn't think it would be too hard to do. After about 10 minutes I heard the pitter patter of little feet outside the bedroom door. Then I heard his little voice, "Daddy, how is Mommy feeling?" Seriously, how sweet his he! Of course, I like to think he was asking because he was really concerned and not because he realized his normal stalling tactics don't work anymore (I have a question, Payton is making a noise, when will you go to bed).

This morning, he came straight into my room and asked me how my knee was. Then he said if I needed him to help me brush my teeth or comb my hair to tell him because he would. Of course, his behavior is obviously a reflection of my nurturing and stellar parenting and amazing example his daddy set. What other explanation could there be?


A New Me update

Wow, I should have stayed off the treadmill. My knee is killing me! I can hardly walk from the couch to the bathroom and that is not a very long walk. I have been popping ibuprofen like it is candy and I never take meds. It is the weirdest thing because I was fine and then it started to hurt. Anyway, tomorrow is a work two jobs day so I don't usually work out on Tuesday. I guess that is good because I should probably give me knee a break.

A New Me - Week 5

I stayed strong and on top of things last week. I continued to work out nearly every day. I say nearly because I did miss two days but one of those two days I spent working on my feet for 4 hours. I also stayed on top of my eating. I did go out to lunch on Tuesday with work people and ate a big cheeseburger with fries but the rest of the week was good. But, much to my dismay, I crossed over to the dark side at the grocery store on Sunday. I bought, oh dear god I can't even day it....I bought....whole wheat pasta and brown rice! Oh the horror! A bit dramatic? Yes. But I do heart my carbs.

I'm not sure how this week will go. I hurt my knee yesterday while I working out but I'm not sure how. I ran a mile, got off the treadmill to stretch, then I got back on to start doing my hills workout and it hurt to put weight on my leg. It got worse throughout the evening and is very stiff this morning. I am not sure how I went from fine to in pain but I did. I should probably rest it and not workout today but I want to keep on this track. So, I will take a few ibuprofen and hope that helps with the pain while I try to run and lift weights.

Alright, onto the measurements. Again, I am happy with what I am seeing. It looks like I am trimming down and I just need to keep telling myself my weight is just a number, weight is just a number. Ignore the doctor's scale, my weight is just a number.

Boobs: 33" (Down 1")
Waist: 28" (Down 1")
Hips: 36" (No change)
Butt: 39" (Down 1")
Thighs: 24" (No change)


Why I love super bowl sunday

Joe took the kids to his dad's. No Joe and no kids makes Stacie happy! So what does an over worked over stressed mommy do with her quiet time? Let us review what I have done since Joe left and will do until he gets home.

  • Watched the end of Little Black Book
  • Watched Failure to Launch while eating a Bocca Burger
  • Watched Maid in Manhattan while working out
  • Ate a banana
  • Am about to watch 13 Going on 30 while folding laundry
  • Eat a lovely (and easy) spinach salad with low fat cottage cheese dinner
  • I will NOT have to make a different dinner for the kids!!!!!
  • Work (boo! but has to be done) while watching The Devil Wears Prada
Look at my multi tasking ass! Of course, in between the eating and working out and the folding laundry I have done NOTHING! Just watched girl movies without anyone bitching about the lack of ESPN and SpongeBob flowing from our TV.

This is why I love super bowl Sunday!