Drinkin' with the boys

Remember yesterday when I said I was going to be drinking tonight...I am totally drinking tonight! We started with a Malibu and pineapple. Then we did a shot of straight Malibu, then a slippery nipple, then a blow job, then something with vodka, then something else with more rum....and now I am having a good ole time with the boys! And Joe! Wow! He is having a great time!

Pretty soon we will open up the vodka because we have almost tapped the rum.

Oh shit, the hall light is flashing on and off...and on...and off. The girl is awake which means we are being way too loud.

Alright she is back in bed and my fingers are starting to tingle...perhaps a sign of too much rum? Of course not! There is no such thing as too much rum!

Okay, time to go do more shots! Real post to come soon, I promise!

Hey, no misspellings found! Maybe I should write and drink more often!


A crappy cop out

It has been a little while, I know. It isn't that I don't have anything to post about because I do. We have just been busy. I have a lot to update you on. Here is a taste of what is to come when I get off my ass write a real blog post.
  • Joe vs. the Squirrel
  • My adrenaline junky daughter
  • The fart heard round the world
  • My dream jobs (a meme courtesy of Tiff)
  • An egg hunt
  • The boy and his penis
  • My poor brother
  • Is is possible to have pregnancy brain and not be pregnant?

Stop back in a few days for a few more posts with some actual substance. And definitely stop back tomorrow night because J is coming over to do shots so I can just imagine what that post will be like!


A New Me - Week....um....oh Hell I don't know

I need to get back on the treadmill and the yoga ball and the weights. I have been so bad lately. I'm not sure how but I will find time to start exercising again. I have a feeling my eating habits (most of the time they are good but I can't fight my cravings. Okay, I can fight them but I usually don't try very hard) will not allow to stay at my happy weight. Take, for example, the dinner I had last night. My intention was to have a Bocca burger with some fruit. But, Joe called me at work and said my brother was coming over. I knew he wouldn't eat a Bocca so my mind started wandering, trying to decide what to feed him.

That is when it came to me like a message from heaven.....a ponza rotta. I know, I know, you are all thinking what in the hell is a ponza rotta. Because unless you have spent a good deal of time in Waukesha (and 99% of you have not) you have no idea what I am talking about. It is food from the gods. It is amazing. When you take a bite, grease actually drips down your hand all the way to your elbow! Think of it as a deep fried calzone only 300 times better. I can't even put into words how amazing these creations are. The restaurant is in a dirty nasty part of the city and hasn't been remodeled since 1970 and they only take cash. Despite this, they are busy all the time. Their parking lot is full and they always have piles of take outs waiting to be picked up. If they ever close their doors, I will cry.

So, I ate about 3,000 calories for dinner last night and I doubt my hips and ass are happy about it. For that reason, I need to start working out again. My will power is not strong enough to stay away from my favorites. Looks like it is time to get reacquainted with with the treadmill.


More baby news

Last weekend Joe's sisters came over to pick up girl scout cookies. They were heading out for a girl's night in the area and decided to stop in. He has two sisters and we aren't very close to either of them. I wish we were closer for the kids sake but stuff has happened that maybe I will go into later and we just aren't close.

Anyway, his middle sister asked us what we were doing in September. Umm....going to your annual fall party and son's birthday party? Then she said "how about being an aunt and uncle again?" I got fake excited (again, not really close) and told her how happy I was and congrats and when are you due and how far along are you and all the things you ask people who are expecting. Then she laughs and says not me! Her! And points to the oldest sister who turns to the side and shows off her belly which is now housing her 5th, that is right FIFTH, child.

Hold on, I say! Back the motha fuckin' truck up! Your husband had a vasectomy, like, 6 years ago! How did this happen? Turns out he had it reversed last summer. They wanted a 5th child so badly he let some guy cut up and poke around in his happy place not once but twice! Holy hell that just isn't right!

She said they felt like there was something missing. Now, I totally understand this feeling because I feel it at least 4 times a week (not this week though because we are ready to send the kids to boarding school). I just don't know if I would still feel that way if our four bedroom house was already holding 6 people, four of which were all potty trained, no longer in need of daycare, and quite independent. They are going back to the beginning. I am a little jealous and a little not jealous all at the same time. So.......

Congrats Andrea, Tim, and family!

.......and good luck.


Bribery - I love it!

I just bribed Caden with candy to go into the basement to get me a soda. Ah soda. She is my nemesis. I gave it up for awhile when I started this eating healthy crap. I was doing so well for so long. I had bottles of Coke in the basement and I didn't touch them. Then the kids birthday party came along and I figured I could have one soda. What could it hurt.

The second that sweet fizzy brown goodness passed my lips I was hooked again. Now I bribe the boy to go into the basement to get me soda. At least it is diet this time.

I'm a pear

I haven't done a new me post in a while but it is not because I haven't been working to achieve my goal - it is because the gods came down and shat on us and I have been trying to regain my composure ever since. So today I bring you a belated new me post.

I haven't been on the treadmill in a long time. I feel bad about it but I feel like I haven't had time. I have been saying to myself I have to get back on the treadmill but somehow morning turns to bedtime and I still haven't gotten back on the treadmill. Thankfully summer is approaching and I am much more active in the summer.

I have continued to eat well and Joe has been a big help with that. Our local grocery store has had some great deals on healthy foods lately and I have taken advantage of it. I love going on the healthy eating page at foodnetwork.com. It has so many great recipes that are easy and really good for you. I have also discovered the amazingness that is ground chicken. It is cheaper than ground beef and so much better for you. We made meatball subs with ground chicken on Saturday and they were amazing!

But, it seems like no matter how hard I try I can't seem to slim out my ass and thighs. My chest is better known as the incredible shrinking boobs, my waist and tummy are slimming and becoming flat again but my ass...oh my ass! It just won't go away! I went to get measured for a bridesmaid dress on Sunday. My boobs measured a 4 (dammit), my waist a 6 (getting bigger) and my hips/ass measured a 10! What the hell is up with that! I used to be a nice little hour glass shape with full breasts, a little waist, and firm tight bottom. Now, I am a pear.

I need to try to find exercises that will concentrate on my butt and thighs. It is time to start kicking that pears ass!