That wonderful time of the year

We had a wonderful Christmas but it gets pretty long since everyone needs to see us. Wait, scratch that, everyone needs to see the kids. No one gives a crap about Raoul and I. We never had plans every weekend until we had kids. Anyway, we end up having four Christmases every year which the kids love but I could really do without. Tweedle P got her Nintendo DS that she needed to have. Tweedle C got that boogie board sled that he has wanted his entire life...all four years of it. They got various other gifts: jammies that I would totally steal if I wasn't twice their size, movies, roller blades for the P and, for C, a really creepy robot that kind of reminds me a Chucky from Child's Play and I am sure it will end killing us in our sleep. Thanks Sharper Image!

But perhaps the most sadistic gift the kids received this year was Moon Sand. And they didn't get just a little Moon Sand. They got two large play sets plus 4 big containers of extra sand...from two different family members. The kids love the stuff and I curse the ground the creators were born on. It is a mess. No matter how hard the kids try to be neat they get that crap all over the floor. Thankfully it vacuums up pretty easily and it does keep them busy and argument free for at least an hour.

Even I got spoiled this year. Raoul built me an office in the basement complete with a nice corner desk, built in shelves, and wood floors. He also bought me a new ski jacket and pants so I can hit the slopes this year. I haven't been on skis since I was in high school...imagine the blog post that will result! I can picture it now...down the hill once, take a shot, down the hill again, take another shot, repeat as needed. Only this time I won't have to hide my liquor because I am a legal 28 years old.

So stick around, this should be an interesting year. I go back to working in the office full time in May and am pushing for a promotion. C will start kindergarten in September and P will start 2nd grade and a new dance studio. And I am on a quest to loose 20 lbs! Who the hell knows what Raoul has planned but I am sure at least one squirrel will loose it's life.


I'm a bad mama

Yesterday was not a good day. It was day 11 of Christmas break for the kids and I. It was a hard day. They fought, I yelled. They whined, I asked them if they would like some cheese with that. They fought some, I opened a bottle of wine and shut their bedroom doors. I would have been fine to let things go that way until bedtime but that just wasn't in the stars for us.

Around 4:30, I was changing loads of laundry and noticed there was some water on the floor in the bathroom next to the laundry room. I opened the door and found the bathmat laying over the drain dripping wet and a puddle of water in front of the toilet. DAMN THOSE KIDS! I went upstairs to have a little talk with them to find out what happened. Tweedle P caved first and said she held the toilet handle down too long. But, after some questioning, it became apparent that is not what happened. And, P has a habit of incriminating herself to protect her brother. Yes, this had C's finger prints all over it.

I went downstairs to talk with C and found a glass of water that had a slight yellow tint to it with two of C's toys floating in it. Hmmmm, okay. He flushed a toy while playing in the toilet and it overflowed. Yes, that must be what happened. It was time for C's interrogation. I was really mad at this point in time. I had spent a good 20 minutes trying to P to cave but she never did. C didn't go much easier. He admitted to flushing a toy but couldn't tell me what toy it was what happened after he flushed it. He was just trying to get me to leave him alone. Now they were both lying to me.

That is when Raoul came into the picture and thought it would be best if we separate them and try to get them to cave. He was calm cool and collected, I was yelling...a lot. He took C to the scene of the crime and I kept P in her bedroom. I finally got P to admit she was splashing in the toilet water and that is why it was all over the ground. Now, this was the third story I had heard and I needed proof. I asked her to produce the wet clothes as proof of her crime but she couldn't. I took her to the laundry room and had her rummage through the laundry but there was nothing. I was pissed! No one would fess up and tell the truth. What could they possibly have done that was so bad that they couldn't tell the truth and they would chose to cover it with lies?

Just then, the sump pump kicked on and started spitting water all over the bathroom floor...right in front of the toilet soaking the rug and leaving a puddle on the floor. Huh. The huge snow melt we had caused the sump pump to kick on but there was a leak in the hose so it was spitting ground water every where. Well then. I am the biggest ass in the world. I had just spent 45 minutes yelling at the kids for something they didn't do. They were so upset by the yelling that they made up lies that would get them in trouble when they hadn't even done anything wrong. I felt like such a bitch.

Things are a little better today but not back to normal. School needs to start and it needs to start soon. I don't think we will survive.


I was going to wait until after New Years.....

...but what the hell; I'm Back! It's been more than a month since I blogged and for those of you wondering what has happened I assure you I am fine. Things have been hectic in the d'Orchidee house and blogging took a back seat. Both of the Tweedles got the flu...twice. And Raoul is such a shit head about bodily excretions I was in charge of cleaning it all up. Yet, regardless of his complete avoidance of it, Raoul had the flu over Christmas. Not to mention the fact that we are so damn popular we had plans nearly everyday in December. Aaannnddd all of the knitting I have done this past month has taken what little free time I had. In an attempt to save money I made quite a few knit projects as Christmas gifts this year.

I was so tired by the end of things I slept until 11am on Christmas Eve. Not smart considering the in-laws were coming for dinner and are super judgemental. By 2pm I asked Raoul how clean he needed the house to be. His answer: "As long as there is no pee on the bathroom floor (Tweedle C needs to work on his aim. He is a little bit like an out of control fire hose right now) and the dog hair tumbleweeds are swept up from the kitchen floor things are clean enough." I do love that man.

I tried to keep up with my regular reads during my break but I was a terrible commenter. Unfortunately, I was wasn't able to read everything by everyone so I am sure I missed a lot. I will have a lot of catching up to to do over the next couple of weeks. It's a good thing I am off until the 5th of January!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and was able to spend some quality time with your families. Or, if you prefer, some quality time with yourself, White Christmas, and a bottle of shiraz. Believe me, I did that once or three times this year. I don't think I would have made it through if I hadn't.