2.09.2009

Talking her off the ledge

Okay, no new me post today. Sorry, I lied. All for the better though because I don't have much to report. Didn't work out much because I my knee, ate okay, still need to take this weeks measurements but I am not expecting much. And, I want to apologize ahead of time for this post. If it is really jumpy aroundy I am sorry but it is late and I have no intention of editing it. And she just called again...it's 11:30pm.

My real post is about a friend of mine. Because more of my friends in real life are starting to read this I am not going to name names. I think she would prefer I didn't. Anyway, this friend of mine is going through a really hard time and tonight was the straw that broke my back. She called me at 10:22. I didn't answer the phone. She called again at 10:23. I didn't answer the phone. Then she left a panicky message on my machine and called back at 10:25. I answered to phone right away.

You see, just last week she called very early in the morning on a Monday. She usually calls on weekends so I knew something was up. Turns out the night before her and her finance got into an argument. I'm not sure what it was about but it was bad. He hit her and choked her and pinned her down on the ground. He called her stupid, worthless, and made her feel like she didn't matter. I begged her to call the police and file a report. I asked if she needed help throwing his crap out onto the lawn but she said she didn't. She stayed with him. When I asked her why she said he had some information he was using to blackmail her. Of course, she didn't use those words but that is essentially what he is doing. Whatever it is she is scared she will loose her job, her license to practice nursing, and the respect of her family.

Tonight she called again. The finance was drinking again and this time she was with him. They left the bar because she ran out of money. Oh! Did I forget to mention he has been living in her house for the last year and half rent free....with no job....and no money! She paid for everything! Anyway, she ran out of money so they left the bar. They got into some kind of argument in the car and he kicked her out and drove away. He left her 20 blocks from their house in the cold and the rain. I offered to pick her up and I begged her to stay at our house tonight but she wouldn't let me. We talked on the phone for a long time. She was pretty hysterical so I didn't understand very much in the beginning.

I calmed her down toward the end and she started to make a bit more sense. She feels very alone right now. She feels like she doesn't have a good support system and she feels like she has let everyone down. I know she was drinking tonight and I know she went home to him. I begged her not to but she just wouldn't listen. I was ready to get into the car, pick her up, and bring her here. I am so worried about her. I just have this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and I can't shake it. I asked her to call me first thing in the morning so I know she is safe.

The really terrible thing is she is planning on marrying him. She is so afraid of whatever it is he has on her that she won't leave him. I asked if she can spend the rest of her life like this but she didn't really have an answer. She is afraid to kick him out of the house because he kicked the door down once. I am supposed to be a bridesmaid in her wedding and I am thinking I may tell her I can't do it. I just can't stand by and support this marriage.

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