A resolution of sorts

Way back in September I asked Raoul if he would help me pick out a treadmill. I don't like running outside but wanted to start to get into shape again. You see, about two years ago I went from a run around for 8 hours a day job to a sit at a desk all day job. My weight has slowly gone up since then I have been more and more unhappy with it. Lately I started to notice I had no energy and was crabby all the time. I knew I needed to do something and I knew Raoul would be willing to help. He has never once commented about my weight gain but he is very healthy and very trim so I knew he would be happy when I told him my plan.

Unfortunately, life got the better of us and we never went to get one. Finally, on Thanksgiving, I couldn't fit into a single pair of pants and the tights I bought didn't fit. I had to settle for my fat pants. I bought them online a few years ago and they were way too big. For some reason I saved them and its a good thing I did or else I would have had to wear jammies to my aunt's house. Needless to say, I was pissed and started to get pretty down about myself.

So, during Thanksgiving weekend, we bought a treadmill. We got a great deal on it and I was pumped to start using it. It was clean and new and had fun settings and stuff to play with. But it was in the basement, the cold and yucky basement. I had fallen into such a habit of laziness that it was hard to find the motivation to walk down those stairs and get on the treadmill. It took a few days but I finally got on it.

Now, I hate exercise so I started slow. I knew if I did too much too soon I would tired and sore and stop quicker than I started. I started walking at low speeds and no incline. Everyday I did a little more, with a little more incline, and a little faster. Then, I added weights and a yoga ball after the treadmill. I worked out harder than I had worked out since I was in college and took a fitness class. I don't have a scale but I thought with all the hard work I was doing I must have lost a few pounds. Of course, I didn't expect to drop it all it a few weeks but I thought there would be some progress. Which is why I wasn't afraid to step on the scale that sat on the bathroom floor at Raoul's grandma's house. And, when the scale tipped higher than it has ever been I didn't understand. Was the scale broken? Was I gaining muscle so the loss of fat was canceled out? That must be it. Or at least a combination of the two.

But, on Christmas morning, the fat pants that I relied upon to get me through Thanksgiving didn't fit. I could hardly pull them up. After stressing and straining to get them on, I couldn't button them. Then I had to stress and strain to get them off. Raoul tried to tell me I looked trimmer and he could tell I was making progress but I wasn't buying it. I actually gained weight! What the fuck is that? Why work out if I am just going to pack it on?

I am too cheap to join weight watchers so I am asking this wonderful blogging community to be my support group. I will be using this blog to track my progress and post my weekly measurements on Mondays. I don't plan to weigh myself because I don't feel weight is an accurate reflection of health and fitness. Afterall, muscle weighs more than fat and I am doing weight training. My goal is to fit into the skirt I wore to Pk and J's wedding rehersal a few years ago. I am calling this a resolution of sorts because I am not resolving to loose weight, I am changing my lifestyle. I am working to become a healthier and hopefully happier me.

A belated foto friday

I skipped Foto Friday yesterday so here is a belated version. Please enjoy a few pictures of the kids with Satan's Sand, oh, I mean Moon Sand. And, of course, the snowman the kids made after the 13.5 inches we got just before Christmas.

The great freak out of 2009

This year, Raoul got the brilliant idea to let the kids stay up as late as they could on New Years but put a limit of 12:30am on it. PK and J came over for sushi and jello shots and the guys started taking bets on how long the kids would stay awake. We had no doubt P would make it all night. She has been known to stay up until 11:30 reading Junie B Jones books. But C loves to sleep and we didn't think he would make it.

They did pretty well all night, riding on their chocolate chip and puppy chow induced high. They played games, watched movies, and left the adults to the adult fun. Although, they did have a hard time understanding why we could eat the jello but they couldn't.

At 10:30, Raoul gave C 40 more minutes. J was not as kind and only gave him 20 more minutes. The Polar Express went in, and C went out like a light at 11:00. As predicted P made it all the way. She watched the ball drop and was thrilled at what a big girl she was.

Then it happened. At 12:05, Raoul told P it was time for bed. She started to freak out. She kicked and screamed and cried and yelled and howled. She arched her back when we tried to pick her up and tears filled her beat red face. She may have made it to midnight but she was in no mood to be fucked with.

I offered to take P if Raoul would deal with C. Raoul defiantly got the better end of the deal because C only woke up momentarily when the ball dropped. I picked up the little ball of fury and carried her into her room. She continued to cry, insisting she wasn't tired (Yeah, right, not tired my ass) and she could stay up all night! I finally calmed her down. It only took two stories about Princess P and her brother Prince C and a song.

I think next year we will have to be sure P knows bedtime is at 12:05am. As soon as the kisses have been handed out she gets to bed. Hopefully we can avoid the great freak out of 2010.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ONE AND ALL!!!!!!

My husband is a dumbass

Every year Raoul participates in the time honored tradition of....oh who the hell am I kidding. The dumbass strips down and jumps into a freezing cold lake. Fucking moron. They call is going polar bearing, I call it stupid.

Every year he and his father head down to Lake Michigan and stand there with hundreds of other dumbasses waiting in the freezing cold and howling wind to jump into a frozen lake. Raoul has been bugging me for years to come down and watch but I simply smile and say I am more of an indoor person, especially when the wind chill is below zero.

This year proved to be especially dangerous as there were huge icebergs preventing them from getting into the lake. Usually they can run in from the shore, take a dip, then run out. This year, the walls of ice made that impossible. Did that stop the dumbasses? Oh hell no. They jumped in from the ice walls and then had to scramble to climb the walls to get out. Raoul, being the kind soul he is, stood on the ledge dripping wet lending a hand to other idiots trying to scramble out.

Raoul's dad decided his bum knee couldn't handle the climb and sat this year out. Thankfully, Raoul recruited a new dumbass to take the plunge with him so he wasn't alone. This was year 12 for Raoul and he likes to have rookies join him.

I understand the ride home is especially painful. Raoul's body begins to shut down from the cold and feels as though someone is stabbing him with hundreds of pins. By the time he makes the 25 minute drive to the house he is exhausted and needs a hot shower and a nap.

I just don't understand. I wish I could blame it on testosterone or the male ego but there are women who participate as well. You'll never find me out there. I prefer to sit home in my flannel jammies and play P's Nintendo DS.

As soon as we have 2009 video and pictures I will post them!

That wonderful time of the year

We had a wonderful Christmas but it gets pretty long since everyone needs to see us. Wait, scratch that, everyone needs to see the kids. No one gives a crap about Raoul and I. We never had plans every weekend until we had kids. Anyway, we end up having four Christmases every year which the kids love but I could really do without. Tweedle P got her Nintendo DS that she needed to have. Tweedle C got that boogie board sled that he has wanted his entire life...all four years of it. They got various other gifts: jammies that I would totally steal if I wasn't twice their size, movies, roller blades for the P and, for C, a really creepy robot that kind of reminds me a Chucky from Child's Play and I am sure it will end killing us in our sleep. Thanks Sharper Image!

But perhaps the most sadistic gift the kids received this year was Moon Sand. And they didn't get just a little Moon Sand. They got two large play sets plus 4 big containers of extra sand...from two different family members. The kids love the stuff and I curse the ground the creators were born on. It is a mess. No matter how hard the kids try to be neat they get that crap all over the floor. Thankfully it vacuums up pretty easily and it does keep them busy and argument free for at least an hour.

Even I got spoiled this year. Raoul built me an office in the basement complete with a nice corner desk, built in shelves, and wood floors. He also bought me a new ski jacket and pants so I can hit the slopes this year. I haven't been on skis since I was in high school...imagine the blog post that will result! I can picture it now...down the hill once, take a shot, down the hill again, take another shot, repeat as needed. Only this time I won't have to hide my liquor because I am a legal 28 years old.

So stick around, this should be an interesting year. I go back to working in the office full time in May and am pushing for a promotion. C will start kindergarten in September and P will start 2nd grade and a new dance studio. And I am on a quest to loose 20 lbs! Who the hell knows what Raoul has planned but I am sure at least one squirrel will loose it's life.

I'm a bad mama

Yesterday was not a good day. It was day 11 of Christmas break for the kids and I. It was a hard day. They fought, I yelled. They whined, I asked them if they would like some cheese with that. They fought some, I opened a bottle of wine and shut their bedroom doors. I would have been fine to let things go that way until bedtime but that just wasn't in the stars for us.

Around 4:30, I was changing loads of laundry and noticed there was some water on the floor in the bathroom next to the laundry room. I opened the door and found the bathmat laying over the drain dripping wet and a puddle of water in front of the toilet. DAMN THOSE KIDS! I went upstairs to have a little talk with them to find out what happened. Tweedle P caved first and said she held the toilet handle down too long. But, after some questioning, it became apparent that is not what happened. And, P has a habit of incriminating herself to protect her brother. Yes, this had C's finger prints all over it.

I went downstairs to talk with C and found a glass of water that had a slight yellow tint to it with two of C's toys floating in it. Hmmmm, okay. He flushed a toy while playing in the toilet and it overflowed. Yes, that must be what happened. It was time for C's interrogation. I was really mad at this point in time. I had spent a good 20 minutes trying to P to cave but she never did. C didn't go much easier. He admitted to flushing a toy but couldn't tell me what toy it was what happened after he flushed it. He was just trying to get me to leave him alone. Now they were both lying to me.

That is when Raoul came into the picture and thought it would be best if we separate them and try to get them to cave. He was calm cool and collected, I was yelling...a lot. He took C to the scene of the crime and I kept P in her bedroom. I finally got P to admit she was splashing in the toilet water and that is why it was all over the ground. Now, this was the third story I had heard and I needed proof. I asked her to produce the wet clothes as proof of her crime but she couldn't. I took her to the laundry room and had her rummage through the laundry but there was nothing. I was pissed! No one would fess up and tell the truth. What could they possibly have done that was so bad that they couldn't tell the truth and they would chose to cover it with lies?

Just then, the sump pump kicked on and started spitting water all over the bathroom floor...right in front of the toilet soaking the rug and leaving a puddle on the floor. Huh. The huge snow melt we had caused the sump pump to kick on but there was a leak in the hose so it was spitting ground water every where. Well then. I am the biggest ass in the world. I had just spent 45 minutes yelling at the kids for something they didn't do. They were so upset by the yelling that they made up lies that would get them in trouble when they hadn't even done anything wrong. I felt like such a bitch.

Things are a little better today but not back to normal. School needs to start and it needs to start soon. I don't think we will survive.

I was going to wait until after New Years.....

...but what the hell; I'm Back! It's been more than a month since I blogged and for those of you wondering what has happened I assure you I am fine. Things have been hectic in the d'Orchidee house and blogging took a back seat. Both of the Tweedles got the flu...twice. And Raoul is such a shit head about bodily excretions I was in charge of cleaning it all up. Yet, regardless of his complete avoidance of it, Raoul had the flu over Christmas. Not to mention the fact that we are so damn popular we had plans nearly everyday in December. Aaannnddd all of the knitting I have done this past month has taken what little free time I had. In an attempt to save money I made quite a few knit projects as Christmas gifts this year.

I was so tired by the end of things I slept until 11am on Christmas Eve. Not smart considering the in-laws were coming for dinner and are super judgemental. By 2pm I asked Raoul how clean he needed the house to be. His answer: "As long as there is no pee on the bathroom floor (Tweedle C needs to work on his aim. He is a little bit like an out of control fire hose right now) and the dog hair tumbleweeds are swept up from the kitchen floor things are clean enough." I do love that man.

I tried to keep up with my regular reads during my break but I was a terrible commenter. Unfortunately, I was wasn't able to read everything by everyone so I am sure I missed a lot. I will have a lot of catching up to to do over the next couple of weeks. It's a good thing I am off until the 5th of January!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and was able to spend some quality time with your families. Or, if you prefer, some quality time with yourself, White Christmas, and a bottle of shiraz. Believe me, I did that once or three times this year. I don't think I would have made it through if I hadn't.