The Letter

I got a letter from Tweedle P's school the other day. The letter said a student in P's class had hand, foot, and mouth disease. Oh crap, I thought. Hopefully it is an outcast that she doesn't play with. Hopefully it is not one of the boys that chase her on the playground (and tackle her...in first grade) or her friend who she is attached at the hip with.

I asked P if there was a child in her class that was sick and didn't come to school and she said yes. Then I asked her which child it was. It was her best friend. Oh crap.

Me: P, did someone stay home sick from school today?

P: Um, I don't remember.

Me: P, it was 1 hour ago. Please think, did someone stay home sick today.

P: Um, I think maybe it was K. Oh yeah, K wasn't in school today.

Me: K is sick. Oh no. Mommy got a letter saying K has something that will make her very sick and she will miss school for a few days. Princess, did you share food or milk with K this week?

P: Mommy! K is my best friend. We always share our lunch!

Me: Oh crap.

P: What mommy?

Me: Oh, nothing Princess, just talking to myself.

Oh crap, she shared food with K who has hand foot and mouth. I spent the weekend waiting. Waiting for the sore throat, the sores, the rash, the fever. I had the meds all ready to go, laid out with dosing spoons ready to go. Waiting to drown her in meds and movies. I spent the days feeling her head for any sign of illness. Of course she will get sick, I thought, her brownie field trip is coming up, why wouldn't she get sick?

It never came. She was a dream most of the weekend, only putting up a fight when she was asked to clean her mess in the basement. She ate sesame chicken and chicken pot pie without whining! Okay, mostly without whining. Well, less whining that usual.

I took her to school yesterday and who did I see but K and her mom. What the...? I wasted my entire weekend wondering when P would get sick and K was fine??? So I asked her, I thought K was sick? Oh no mommy, I was just kidding! Tricked ya!

Seriously, what the fuck!?!***

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In other news, I am pretty sure Tweedle C has bionic hearing. C still wears pull ups to bed and, at times, leaks all over the place. He got into bed on Saturday and proceeded to start whining about how bad his bed smelled because his pull up leaked. Why, my darling son, didn't you tell me, oh, 15 hours ago when you woke up? Why the hell did you wait until 9:00 at night?

So, I sent him into his sisters room and went to the closet to get some clean sheets. Of course, I realized the mattress pad would have to be washed so clean sheets was really a moot point. As I was realizing this I let a string of profanities that went something like stupid fucking sheets with stupid fucking pee all over them at stupid fucking 9 at night.

Now, I was not yelling this. As a matter of fact, I was muttering quite quietly. But, from out of nowhere, C yells, "Hey! Don't call me stupid!" I am pretty sure he didn't hear the fucking part because he never hears us talk like that so he probably couldn't make it out. I explained I wasn't calling him stupid, I was just upset that I never bought two mattress pads and now he needs to sleep with his sister.

I think my quiet muttering may have rubbed off on him because on Sunday, when I asked him to take off his pull up and throw it in the garbage, he walked away muttering, "Stupid mommy making me throw my pull up away and miss Diego." Huh, oops! He got time out. Maybe I should have gotten one too.

***okay, maybe I jumped to conclusions a little bit but this virus is nasty and it would have totally sucked to have it in our house.