8.29.2008

Torn

I'm torn. I have a friend who is making some really bad decisions right now. Unfortunately, her decisions impact more than just her. I guess I should give a little background information. I have been friends with this couple since high school. They were high school sweethearts. A couple of years after high school, they started having some problems. She was really controlling and wanted him to stay home with her all the time. She rarely let him out of the house. He ended up cheating on her with this really wretched girl. I found out about the indiscretion shortly after they got engaged. Raoul insisted it wasn't my business and I should stay out of it. I wanted to tell her and he said no and it wasn't my place to tell.

They have been married for several years now and she continues to control his life. And now, she is making decisions for him that he is not ready for. He has told me he does not want what she is pushing for (several life changing moves) and will be very unhappy if she ends up going through with it. While he has no problem telling me, he refuses to tell her. I am closer to him than I am to her and I think he will be miserable if all of this happens. Again, Raoul says stay out of it. Raoul says our friend loves her and doesn't want to upset her so he won't speak up. If you were in my position, would you tell her he has reservations and she should talk to him or should I just stay out of it. What would you do?

3 comments:

Aunt Becky said...

Sadly, I agree with your husband. I'd try and steer clear of this problem, as it can only get worse for you if you get involved. I dunno. I try and stay out of this stuff as I've been bitten by it before.

Wendy said...

I would have told her he was cheating. That's something that needs to be told. But if you tell her that he doesn't want to do it, all she'll hear is that he's been talking badly about her. To you. Maybe you could tell him that if he won't talk to her and fix it, then you don't want to listen to him complain about her? It kind of seems like maybe he's playing on you sympathies. My mom and dad went through this. She still hasn't forgiven him for "talking about her." And he does love her. It easier to do what she wants and keep her happy, than to deal with it. That makes it his own fault.

Sorry to go on and on. I found you over on Always Home and Uncool. That flower really grabs the eye!

Collette said...

Thanks for the comments ladies.


Wendy - Welcome and I do love that flower. I wanted to tell her about the cheating. But, I really had no proof, only hearsay. Raoul convinced me it would be best to stay quite since our friend denied it when we talked to him about what we had heard.

As far as the current situation, one of the things driving me to talk was the fact that one of the changes was a baby. He isn't ready, she is. I was having a hard time letting go of the fact that their marriage would crumble under the stress of a baby. But, I have decided to keep out of it. It is their life and their marriage and they need to work it out themselves.

Thanks again ladies.