Payton got DS for Christmas. Caden got one for his birthday. We mulled over the decision to buy him a DS. He was just 5, he couldn't read yet, the games are a bit harder than the Leapster, blah blah blah. Anyway, we gave in and got him one.
And we couldn't have been more wrong! Not only is he just the right age for a DS but he totally rocks at it. He could kick my ass in Mario any day. And he totally kicks ass in Sonic. DS has made my life so much easier. No longer do I hear the words that are like nails on a chalk board - "I'm bored" No longer do I need to encourage the kids to play nice because now they just play next to each other.
Of course they are not allowed to play it in the morning before school and have some pretty strict limits when the weather is nice. But come night fall the DS gets turned on and there is peace in my life again. The kids giggle and laugh with each other as they battle on Mario. They joyfully watch Daddy get to level 8 and beat the castle while I joyfully sit in bed and read a book. Yes! I actually read a book! With big words and small print! And no pictures! Books with sex in them! Books about murder and lust and affairs. Naughty books!
The DS has saved my life. The more they play the better they get. The better they get the less I have to help. The less I have to help the more I can do things that I enjoy. The more I do things I enjoy, the happier I get. I love you DS. Please, never leave me.
5.05.2009
They're baaaack
We don't like squirrels in our house. They dig holes in the yard and in the new mulch. They eat the bird seed and my plants. We hate squirrels. Last year, Joe was getting so pissed at the squirrels he started shooting them with a paintball gun. It took him until August to to get so pissed off that he resorted to shooting them. Correction, shooting near them. He didn't want to kill them, just scare them.
A few weeks ago I was washing dishes and saw a squirrel digging in the mulch. It would dig them jump up on a bench and stare in the window right at me. It was like it was taunting me. Then it would turn around, shake it's tail, and do it all over again. I called Joe to come watch this little fucker screw with us and he was pissed.
He went into the basement to get the paintball gun. He stood at the backdoor, gun in hand, and aimed at the squirrel. I braced for the fire and the little squirrel squeal but it never came. Instead, I heard pssssssssst.....plop. Joe had run out of CO2. Instead of hitting the squirrel, the paintball rolled out of the barrel and landed on the patio. Now, instead of being squirrel free, I have a red paint stain on the patio and squirrels who mock me. Just fucking great.
5.04.2009
Mommy daughter time
Caden was with his aunt and uncle. Payton was dressed in her pretty little butterfly costume, ballet pink tights, and shoes. Her hair was in a bun and she had baby pink lipstick on her lips. We hopped in the car and headed to have Payton's ballet and jazz class pictures taken. The parking lot looked a bit empty when we arrived. Considering the entire studio was having pictures taken that day it seemed a bit odd.
Then I noticed it, the tiny little note taped to the studio door: "Because of Oconomowoc high school's closing due suspected swine flu and the health boards recommendation to avoid gatherings of 50 or more, we will be canceling/rescheduling picture day." Dammit. I drove all the way out the Delafield only to find out the event was cancelled.
So what is a girl and her mom supposed to do when an hour and a half of their day has just been freed up? Go shopping of course! We headed out the store to buy shoes, purses, and dresses. And shop we did! Payton walked away with 3 new pairs of shoes and, despite his absence, Caden landed 2 pairs of shoes. Payton also got two pretty sun dresses because what is summer without pretty sun dresses.
Of course, picking out the dresses took up quite a bit of time. We had an hour and a half until we needed to leave the store and she spent about an hour of that time picking out dresses. The selection of dresses was just too good. She just couldn't decide. She would pick out a few, try them on, and reject them. They were too short, not pink enough, didn't spin right, or too long. It took about 45 minutes to get the first dress. The second came much quicker. We were about to give up and leave with just one when we saw it sticking out of the racks. We tried it on and she loved it.
She was so excited about the dress she started jumping up and down in the dressing room. She didn't have a shirt on and noticed her non existent boobs were bouncing up and down. Actually, it was the skin that would eventually become boobs. She was so excited that it was bouncing she jumped higher and said "Look mommy! My boobies are bouncing! Look at them bounce!" I heard giggling from the room next to us and decided it was time to go. Payton got her shirt on, we paid, and headed home.
In the car on the way home she told me her boobs were getting so big because she had a baby in her tummy. Otherwise they wouldn't have been able to bounce that good. I guess I am going to be a grandma at 28. That must some kind of record or something.
Then I noticed it, the tiny little note taped to the studio door: "Because of Oconomowoc high school's closing due suspected swine flu and the health boards recommendation to avoid gatherings of 50 or more, we will be canceling/rescheduling picture day." Dammit. I drove all the way out the Delafield only to find out the event was cancelled.
So what is a girl and her mom supposed to do when an hour and a half of their day has just been freed up? Go shopping of course! We headed out the store to buy shoes, purses, and dresses. And shop we did! Payton walked away with 3 new pairs of shoes and, despite his absence, Caden landed 2 pairs of shoes. Payton also got two pretty sun dresses because what is summer without pretty sun dresses.
Of course, picking out the dresses took up quite a bit of time. We had an hour and a half until we needed to leave the store and she spent about an hour of that time picking out dresses. The selection of dresses was just too good. She just couldn't decide. She would pick out a few, try them on, and reject them. They were too short, not pink enough, didn't spin right, or too long. It took about 45 minutes to get the first dress. The second came much quicker. We were about to give up and leave with just one when we saw it sticking out of the racks. We tried it on and she loved it.
She was so excited about the dress she started jumping up and down in the dressing room. She didn't have a shirt on and noticed her non existent boobs were bouncing up and down. Actually, it was the skin that would eventually become boobs. She was so excited that it was bouncing she jumped higher and said "Look mommy! My boobies are bouncing! Look at them bounce!" I heard giggling from the room next to us and decided it was time to go. Payton got her shirt on, we paid, and headed home.
In the car on the way home she told me her boobs were getting so big because she had a baby in her tummy. Otherwise they wouldn't have been able to bounce that good. I guess I am going to be a grandma at 28. That must some kind of record or something.
5.02.2009
Hellllloooooooo
Eh hem....Helllooooo....Is this thing on.....anyone out there???? So, um, yeah, it has been a while. Like two weeks awhile. Our lives have been unbelievably busy since Easter. We have something going on every night of the week and most weekend days. I have been struggling to find time to pay my bills and clean my house and exercise and I just haven't been able to find time to blog. The only time the computer gets touched anymore is to record deductions from the checkbook or work from home. I haven't even been on Facebook in two weeks!
The dog has been sick. I have cleaned up poopy diarrhea and dog puke multiple times over the last week. He seems to be better now and I washed his toys to make sure any lingering bacteria was killed. Unfortunately, the carpet in the living room and dining room will never be the same.
I have been tired lately. I have been in bed by 9:30 most nights. Thankfully we are slow at work right now so I haven't been working more than 45 to 50 hours a week. Of course it is nice out now so the yard and the house need attention. I have been doing a lot of planting this year and I am not even close to being done. Plus, we have maple trees and the little helicopter things fall to the ground and plant themselves and I have to pull up about 100 little baby trees every week. I am fixing up an area of the yard that has been neglected the past few years and am really excited about it. I will post some before and afters.
The boy started to play soccer which takes up extra time. Monday nights and Saturdays are now soccer days. I am a soccer mom....but I will not become that mom. You know the one I am talking about. The obsessive, yelling, pushing, screaming, annoying mom. That will not be me.
My poor brother is going through a divorce. His father in law died and his wife lost it. Just days after the death she moved out and then sent him a text....yes, a text, that she wanted a divorce. The little bitch ended their 10 year relationship with a text. And now she is working at Silk Exotic (just in case the name doesn't give it away it is a strip club). She certainly is putting her fake boobs to good use. Jason has been really lonely and I can't say that I blame him. He has been spending a lot of time here. He is usually here once a week for dinner and Saturday just to hang out.
So that's it for now. I little update. I am not dead. I am just busy. I am struggling to make time in my life for things. I lost my balance and I need to find it again. Hopefully it will be back soon, my lack of balance is making me really, really crabby.
Okay, off to take the boy to soccer, go to the grocery store, start a slow cooker dinner, work in the yard, clean the house, take the girl to have ballet pictures taken, and then entertain 4 friends at dinner. See...busy. And it sucks!
The dog has been sick. I have cleaned up poopy diarrhea and dog puke multiple times over the last week. He seems to be better now and I washed his toys to make sure any lingering bacteria was killed. Unfortunately, the carpet in the living room and dining room will never be the same.
I have been tired lately. I have been in bed by 9:30 most nights. Thankfully we are slow at work right now so I haven't been working more than 45 to 50 hours a week. Of course it is nice out now so the yard and the house need attention. I have been doing a lot of planting this year and I am not even close to being done. Plus, we have maple trees and the little helicopter things fall to the ground and plant themselves and I have to pull up about 100 little baby trees every week. I am fixing up an area of the yard that has been neglected the past few years and am really excited about it. I will post some before and afters.
The boy started to play soccer which takes up extra time. Monday nights and Saturdays are now soccer days. I am a soccer mom....but I will not become that mom. You know the one I am talking about. The obsessive, yelling, pushing, screaming, annoying mom. That will not be me.
My poor brother is going through a divorce. His father in law died and his wife lost it. Just days after the death she moved out and then sent him a text....yes, a text, that she wanted a divorce. The little bitch ended their 10 year relationship with a text. And now she is working at Silk Exotic (just in case the name doesn't give it away it is a strip club). She certainly is putting her fake boobs to good use. Jason has been really lonely and I can't say that I blame him. He has been spending a lot of time here. He is usually here once a week for dinner and Saturday just to hang out.
So that's it for now. I little update. I am not dead. I am just busy. I am struggling to make time in my life for things. I lost my balance and I need to find it again. Hopefully it will be back soon, my lack of balance is making me really, really crabby.
Okay, off to take the boy to soccer, go to the grocery store, start a slow cooker dinner, work in the yard, clean the house, take the girl to have ballet pictures taken, and then entertain 4 friends at dinner. See...busy. And it sucks!
4.17.2009
Drinkin' with the boys
Remember yesterday when I said I was going to be drinking tonight...I am totally drinking tonight! We started with a Malibu and pineapple. Then we did a shot of straight Malibu, then a slippery nipple, then a blow job, then something with vodka, then something else with more rum....and now I am having a good ole time with the boys! And Joe! Wow! He is having a great time!
Pretty soon we will open up the vodka because we have almost tapped the rum.
Oh shit, the hall light is flashing on and off...and on...and off. The girl is awake which means we are being way too loud.
Alright she is back in bed and my fingers are starting to tingle...perhaps a sign of too much rum? Of course not! There is no such thing as too much rum!
Okay, time to go do more shots! Real post to come soon, I promise!
Hey, no misspellings found! Maybe I should write and drink more often!
Pretty soon we will open up the vodka because we have almost tapped the rum.
Oh shit, the hall light is flashing on and off...and on...and off. The girl is awake which means we are being way too loud.
Alright she is back in bed and my fingers are starting to tingle...perhaps a sign of too much rum? Of course not! There is no such thing as too much rum!
Okay, time to go do more shots! Real post to come soon, I promise!
Hey, no misspellings found! Maybe I should write and drink more often!
4.16.2009
A crappy cop out
It has been a little while, I know. It isn't that I don't have anything to post about because I do. We have just been busy. I have a lot to update you on. Here is a taste of what is to come when I get off my ass write a real blog post.
- Joe vs. the Squirrel
- My adrenaline junky daughter
- The fart heard round the world
- My dream jobs (a meme courtesy of Tiff)
- An egg hunt
- The boy and his penis
- My poor brother
- Is is possible to have pregnancy brain and not be pregnant?
Stop back in a few days for a few more posts with some actual substance. And definitely stop back tomorrow night because J is coming over to do shots so I can just imagine what that post will be like!
4.06.2009
A New Me - Week....um....oh Hell I don't know
I need to get back on the treadmill and the yoga ball and the weights. I have been so bad lately. I'm not sure how but I will find time to start exercising again. I have a feeling my eating habits (most of the time they are good but I can't fight my cravings. Okay, I can fight them but I usually don't try very hard) will not allow to stay at my happy weight. Take, for example, the dinner I had last night. My intention was to have a Bocca burger with some fruit. But, Joe called me at work and said my brother was coming over. I knew he wouldn't eat a Bocca so my mind started wandering, trying to decide what to feed him.
That is when it came to me like a message from heaven.....a ponza rotta. I know, I know, you are all thinking what in the hell is a ponza rotta. Because unless you have spent a good deal of time in Waukesha (and 99% of you have not) you have no idea what I am talking about. It is food from the gods. It is amazing. When you take a bite, grease actually drips down your hand all the way to your elbow! Think of it as a deep fried calzone only 300 times better. I can't even put into words how amazing these creations are. The restaurant is in a dirty nasty part of the city and hasn't been remodeled since 1970 and they only take cash. Despite this, they are busy all the time. Their parking lot is full and they always have piles of take outs waiting to be picked up. If they ever close their doors, I will cry.
So, I ate about 3,000 calories for dinner last night and I doubt my hips and ass are happy about it. For that reason, I need to start working out again. My will power is not strong enough to stay away from my favorites. Looks like it is time to get reacquainted with with the treadmill.
That is when it came to me like a message from heaven.....a ponza rotta. I know, I know, you are all thinking what in the hell is a ponza rotta. Because unless you have spent a good deal of time in Waukesha (and 99% of you have not) you have no idea what I am talking about. It is food from the gods. It is amazing. When you take a bite, grease actually drips down your hand all the way to your elbow! Think of it as a deep fried calzone only 300 times better. I can't even put into words how amazing these creations are. The restaurant is in a dirty nasty part of the city and hasn't been remodeled since 1970 and they only take cash. Despite this, they are busy all the time. Their parking lot is full and they always have piles of take outs waiting to be picked up. If they ever close their doors, I will cry.
So, I ate about 3,000 calories for dinner last night and I doubt my hips and ass are happy about it. For that reason, I need to start working out again. My will power is not strong enough to stay away from my favorites. Looks like it is time to get reacquainted with with the treadmill.
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